Catalina Velasquez is an illegal alien from Colombia who also says he is a woman.  Catalina claims that if he is deported to his native Colombia, he will be killed for pretending to be a woman.

There are 47 million people in Colombia.  All 47 million know what he looks like and  are sworn to kill him.  Colombia is over 440,000 square miles in size.  Catalina knows that if he sets foot in any of those 440,000 square miles, there will always be one of those 47 million people who have sworn to kill him just waiting for him.  Therefore, he says he is entitled to stay in America. 

That's also why Catalina went to gofundme.com to ask for $2,800 to pay for legal fees in case he is deported.  So far, Catalina has raised about $2,600 for his efforts.

The WaPo story on this featured a very girly photo of Catalina.  But I found a much better one where he seems to be growing a moustache.

Fluent in English, Spanish, and Italian, Catalina is an alumnus [sic] of Georgetown University's Edmund A. Walsh School of Foreign Service, where he [sic] majored in International Politics: International Law, Norms, & Institutions with a Certificate in Women [sic] and Gender Studies.

I guess that's where Catalina learned so much about being a girl: in school.  I wonder: does Georgetown now give male students certificates listing them as girls after majoring in being a girl?

Catalina is a recipient of the President's Volunteer Award from the President's Council on Service and Civic Participation[.]

Catalina has been decorated by the president!  Personally, I think he should be redecorated.

Catalina works closely with the D.C. Office of Latino Affairs as an appointed commissioner of the city, and she [sic] was instrumental in the passage of the D.C. driver license campaign to provide undocumented immigrants in the District of Columbia with government identification cards.

D.C. appointed an illegal alien as a commissioner.  Makes sense.  But if he has a job, why does he need $2,800 from the rest of us?

Her [sic] expertize [sic] are [sic] on reproductive, racial and economic justice, immigrant rights, LGBTQ Liberation and the global fight for human rights.

How does Catalina have any expertise in the area of reproduction?  Unless he impregnated a girl back when he was Carlos or whatever his real name is, how would he know anything about it?

Exit question: Of all the ridiculous things I have related in this article, which is most ridiculous?

Ed Straker is the senior writer at NewsMachete.com.