Lesbian falls in love with man, becomes world's first lesbian heterosexual

A lesbian named Ash Fisher surprised herself by falling in love with a man!  Even though she is in a relationship with him, however, she still maintains she is a lesbian.

I have a femme tattoo on my arm, which was sticked-and-poked by a fellow queer on another queer's couch during Pride. I run a queer feminist comedy show called "Man Haters." Much of my standup act revolves around my queerness. Basically, I'm super gay.

Before meeting him, I identified not just as queer, but as a dyke.

I'm not sure what the difference is between "queer" and "dyke."  She retains water, too?

Ash Fisher, heterosexual lesbian.

I felt powerful turning down men when they hit on me. I fantasized about sex [sic] with women as a pre-teen and crushed on my girl friends. In high school, I rented every single indie and foreign film from Blockbuster because many of them featured lesbian sex.

But then she met this sensitive guy, whom she feels comfortable talking about everything with.  And I do mean everything.

A few weeks into dating, I had an IUD inserted, which was one of the most painful experiences of my life[.] ... I worried my guy would be grossed out or otherwise turned off by my blood, my pain[.] ... Much to my surprise, he listens, sympathizes and supports me.

But even though she's in a physical relationship with this guy (hence the IUD), she still maintains she's a lesbian.  How can she be a lesbian if she is in a relationship with a man?

I think Ash is giving us insight into what lesbianism is really all about.  It's a cultural fad.  It's a political statement.  It's not necessarily a sexual orientation.  Ash is not the first, second, third, or even 1,000th lesbian to give up the lifestyle to go back to men.  If sexual orientation were immutable at birth, as many gays claim, how could someone like Ash go back and forth?

What's sad about this is that even when Ash finds a whipped man to be with to talk about all her bodily functions, she still cannot admit the truth about her sexual orientation.  It reminds me of the exact same situation in which men who claim to be women find themselves – in complete denial.

Exit question:

1) What kind of guy do you think would be attracted to Ash?

Ed Straker is the senior writer at NewsMachete.com.