Dear liberal celebrities: Are you still here?

After every Republican presidential win, the list of notables promising to leave this country gets larger.  This year, it is a bumper crop, and if only they would keep their promise.  More than a month after the election, one can only speculate as to what keeps them here.

Hope for reversal is certainly one possibility.  Trump Derangement Syndrome is in full bloom virtually over the entire Democratic Party.  Martin Sheen, while not in line for a visa to Venezuela, is begging the members of the Electoral College not to vote for Trump.  The recount in Wisconsin, Michigan, and Pennsylvania was a bust.  Reversing the Constitution to give the presidency to the majority vote getter may be a long shot, but to the desperate, no shot is too long.

Proving Russian hacking of the polls is the plan du jour.  Time is too short, and it is not going to happen.  When this, their last hope is dashed, perhaps an additional incentive will be in order to hasten their departure.  I have a few ideas, and I am willing to put forth a modest contribution.

To the Reverend Al Sharpton – a case of Joe Louis pomade to grease the skids

Miley Cyrus – a muffler for your mouth, not to be taken off until after you cross the border

Lena Dunham, sorry, can't help you; I don't know who you are

Cher – going to Jupiter?  I need more time to study astronomy

Natasha Lyone – see Lena Dunham

Barbra Streisand – Godspeed wherever…I liked your music, movies not so much

Samuel Jackson – I will help you with your luggage if you promise to take your namesake, the Rev. Jesse, with you

Whoopi Goldberg – If you drive to Canada, the first tankful of gas is on me.  Let me know.

Alec Baldwin – You disappointed me back when George W. was first elected.  You promised to leave the country then.  All is forgiven, however, if you leave now.  I mean now!

To all of you above – roll call will be taken in January.  Bon voyage!

After every Republican presidential win, the list of notables promising to leave this country gets larger.  This year, it is a bumper crop, and if only they would keep their promise.  More than a month after the election, one can only speculate as to what keeps them here.

Hope for reversal is certainly one possibility.  Trump Derangement Syndrome is in full bloom virtually over the entire Democratic Party.  Martin Sheen, while not in line for a visa to Venezuela, is begging the members of the Electoral College not to vote for Trump.  The recount in Wisconsin, Michigan, and Pennsylvania was a bust.  Reversing the Constitution to give the presidency to the majority vote getter may be a long shot, but to the desperate, no shot is too long.

Proving Russian hacking of the polls is the plan du jour.  Time is too short, and it is not going to happen.  When this, their last hope is dashed, perhaps an additional incentive will be in order to hasten their departure.  I have a few ideas, and I am willing to put forth a modest contribution.

To the Reverend Al Sharpton – a case of Joe Louis pomade to grease the skids

Miley Cyrus – a muffler for your mouth, not to be taken off until after you cross the border

Lena Dunham, sorry, can't help you; I don't know who you are

Cher – going to Jupiter?  I need more time to study astronomy

Natasha Lyone – see Lena Dunham

Barbra Streisand – Godspeed wherever…I liked your music, movies not so much

Samuel Jackson – I will help you with your luggage if you promise to take your namesake, the Rev. Jesse, with you

Whoopi Goldberg – If you drive to Canada, the first tankful of gas is on me.  Let me know.

Alec Baldwin – You disappointed me back when George W. was first elected.  You promised to leave the country then.  All is forgiven, however, if you leave now.  I mean now!

To all of you above – roll call will be taken in January.  Bon voyage!