Could Paul Krugman and ninja jacks save Obama's economy?
The small California community known as South Lake Tahoe appears to have been blessed by one or more individuals heroically willing to do their part to help create economic growth during the final days of the "hopeless" Obama economy. And they've done it using only tiny "ninja jacks."
As many as 100 tires have been damaged by tiny spikes throughout South Lake Tahoe. They're called "ninja jacks," or caltrops. Although they're small – about one inch in diameter – they can do a lot of damage on the roads.
"They're designed to wreck a tire," South Lake Tahoe Police Det. Rose Molesworth said.
The spikes don't blow the tire out but slowly deflate it so it takes a while for drivers to notice. Detectives investigating these cases said this is not happening in one location.
"It's happening all throughout South Shore," Molesworth said.
"It's crazy people would do something like that to disrupt the lives of other people," resident Lori Marino said.
If you're a victim of a ninja trap or have any information about this crime, you're urged to contact South Lake Tahoe Police. You can do so anonymously through their Secret Witness hotline.
It's interesting to see the perpetrators cast in such negative light, given that this report comes from "real" (NBC affiliate) and not "fake" news sources. They evidently forgot to consult "smart" economists such as Paul Krugman (someone known to fantasize about economic growth via space alien attack), who would surely proclaim this tire massacre using ninja spikes as a marvelous way to "grow" the economy. Each tire needing to be replaced or repaired provides business for a local tire shop, and because South Lake Tahoe is a tourist town, a percentage of those tires most likely rolled in from some wealthy city clearly not in need of any additional economic "stimulus."
Just look at the possible ROI here, given that tires cost about $100 a pop: "Police said the spikes can be easily purchased online for as little as ten for $10. Detectives have no leads but are contacting Amazon and eBay for help." Wow: The potential economy-"stimulating" effects here are stunning. If Krugman gets wind of this, it might be enough to bring him out of his Trump-induced depression for a brief while.
A national ninja jack "stimulus" program that destroys fifty million tires would cost only about $50 million for the jacks, but it would yield an astounding $5 billion in economic "growth" before the magic multipliers even take effect. If this were done daily for the few remaining days (Halleluiah!) of Obama's term, we'd be talking about some real economic "growth."
Of course, good economists with the ability to look beyond the "blessings of destruction" caused by war, space aliens, and ninja weaponry would simply point to Frédéric Bastiat's broken window fallacy – something even college snowflakes (today's victims of yesteryear's Russians, who helped to "hack" a specific ideology into the education system and Hollywood) could understand if they were receiving an education instead of an indoctrination.
Our only hope to save the United States may be to enlist the help of ninjas to stealthily remove these college kids from their safe spaces and start exposing them to some commonsense economic reality.
Scott blogs at www.politiseeds.com.