You might be a deplorable if...

Comedian Jeff Foxworthy is famous for his "You Might Be a Redneck If..."  For those of you in the outback who haven't heard Foxworthy's famous routine, here's a sample.

You Might Be a Redneck If...

1. You think "loading the dishwasher" means getting your wife drunk.

2. You ever cut your grass and found a car.

3. You own a home that is mobile and five cars that aren't.

There are literally hundreds of these gems out there, and the list is growing as his fans add their own lines.  Jeff's success was due to his ability to capitalize on the public's generally low opinion of rednecks.

Like Jeff, Hillary Clinton's attempting to capitalize on the ruling elite's generally low opinion of Americans.  Hillary sums us up as a basket of deplorables, "racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, and Islamophobic."  So whom is she talking about?  The following is a list of those who might qualify.

You might be a deplorable (racist) if...

  1. You're white.  Nuff said.
  2. You try to shut the back door when you find gangs using your kitchen for a crack lab and indigents camped out in your living room.
  3. You're a cop.  Forget it if you're a white cop.  Of course, even if you're a black cop who shot a black perp, you're still in the deplorable basket.  Sorry, but this ain't Chicago.

You might be a deplorable (homophobe) if...

  1. You're a Christian.  Christians hate gays, want them dead.  Oh wait, that's Muslims.
  2. You think marriage should be between a man and woman so they can have babies and such without scientific intervention.
  3. You don't like men in your daughter's bathroom or dressing room.  Like your kid has anything these pervs haven't seen before. 

You might be a deplorable (sexist) if... 

  1. You're a man.  Good luck if you're a white man, because you had two counts against you while you were still angrily thrashing about in your mother's womb.
  2. You're not voting for Hillary.  I know, the illegal email servers, destruction of evidence, obstruction of justice, perjury, pay-to-play stuff's out there, but that's not why you aren't voting for her.  It's just because she's a woman.

You might be a deplorable (Islamophobe) if...

  1. You recognize that 100% of Islamic terror was committed by Islamist terrorists. 
  2. You surmise that a Muslim screaming "Allahu akbar" while slashing and stabbing  innocent people at the mall is a terrorist. 
  3. You assume that the explosion that wadded up a heavy-duty commercial dumpster like a piece of scrap paper was a bomb.
  4. You don't welcome all Syrian refugees, even those with smartphones with beheadings and cage drowning videos in their favorites.
  5. You miss your flight and run from the airport when you spot a Muslim wearing a heavy-duty flak jacket in August and holding what looks like a detonation device. 

Don't be discouraged if you fit more than one of these.  You're not alone – just one of the millions in the movement.  As Donald Trump, Jr. tweeted: