Trees are racist (but don’t worry; the Wood Man is on the job)

Hoping to give my wife and me and our golden retriever Sparky a better view of the mountains, I hired Don The Wood Man to widen the meadow in back of our house. 

Trees started coming down, brush got pushed to the side, and logs were stacked to be taken to the mill, from where, one assumes, they’ll proceed to be made into furniture.

But what I failed to realize was that in the bizarro world of Barack Obama’s Washington, this very hardworking guy was, on my dime, also striking a blow for racial justice.

Because in an article by Daniel Greenfield on, I learned that Obama’s government considers trees racist.  Here’s the relevant paragraph:

… Alcee Hastings, an impeached judge, and a coalition of minority groups is demanding increased “inclusiveness” at national parks. High on their list is the claim that, “African-Americans have felt unwelcome and even fearful in federal parklands during our nation’s history because of the horrors of lynching.”  What do national parks have to do with lynchings? Many national parks have trees. People were hung from trees. It’s racial guilt by arboreal association. Trees are racist down to their roots.

A point of view advocated by the Forest Service’s senior spokesman whose last name, believe it or not, is Fearn.  A man who in all logic must also want to ban Arbor Day as a legacy of Jim Crow and, just like the Confederate monuments this administration has such a problem with, cast down and smash every statue everywhere of Johnny Appleseed, Joyce Kilmer, and Frederick Law Olmstead.

So yes, Grandma and Grandpa, you were right all along.  The inmates are definitely running this insane asylum.

Richard F. Miniter is the author of The Things I Want Most, Random House, BDD.  See it here.  He lives and writes in the colonial-era hamlet of Stone Ridge, New York; blogs here; and can also be reached at

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