Caitlyn Jenner Reportedly Sabotages Obama’s Bathroom Agenda
Sixty-six-year-old Caitlyn Jenner, or “Cait,” as his or her friends like to call him or her, singlehandedly brought sexual identification awareness to the forefront of American culture. Now Kardashian family biographer, Ian Halperin, has claimed that sources tell him Caitlyn is unhappy as a woman and is thinking seriously “in the next couple of years” of transitioning back to male.
Halperin alleges that while researching his book Kardashian Dynasty: The Controversial Rise of America’s Royal Family, insiders indicated that, unlike Pat Suzuki, Glamour magazine’s “Woman of the Year,” is no longer singing “I enjoy being a girl,” and instead is considering re-embracing his or her original manhood.
That’s right; after fashion retailer H&M partnered with Cait and came out with transgender sportswear, Caitlyn, a purported victim of “sex change regret,” may be leaning away from jogging bras and toward men’s golfing duds.
Forget the clothing line, Caitlyn’s backpedaling is sure to unsettle Barack Obama.
Thanks in part to the capricious Caitlyn bringing the plight of transgenderism to the fore, Obama who chooses to ignore immigration law, has expended an inordinate amount of energy focusing on elimination law.
After Caitlyn raised awareness, the president, who barely notices when a U.S. Navy Seal is killed by ISIS in Iraq or makes nary a comment when a 90-year-old Minnesota farmer is murdered by illegals, has had plenty to say about frightened schoolchildren sucking it up and venturing into creepy gender-neutral restrooms.The Obama administration has been so concerned about where transgenders relieve themselves they flexed their muscles and decreed that heterosexuals being uncomfortable about using a same-sex bathroom does not justify keeping men dressed like women out of the ladies’ room, or vice versa. In fact, Obama issued an edict that all public schools had better provide transgender access to restrooms, locker rooms, and shower facilities -- or face the loss of federal funds. That’s why, with blackmail on the table, now may not be the best time for news to come out that one of the reasons Caitlyn wants to transition away from estrogen back to testosterone is that he or she is still attracted to women. The revelation is problematic because the left argues that gender-neutrality in the restroom is not a problem and that forcing little girls to shower with transgendered boys does not threaten privacy because boys who identify as girls aren’t attracted to girls. Halperin says that Caitlyn feels otherwise.And it gets weirder.In 2015, with his junk tucked up in a silk teddy, Jenner was featured on the cover of Vanity Fair. This summer, wearing nothing but an American flag and an Olympic gold medal as a fig leaf, Caitlyn plans to pose nude for Sports Illustrated.Now, after ignoring Deuteronomy 22:5, which says, “A woman must not wear men's clothing, nor a man wear women's clothing, for the LORD your God detests anyone who does this,” Halperin asserts that Caitlyn’s devout Christianity has caused the transgendered cover girl angst.Apparently, Caitlyn’s conflict arises from Scriptures that censure homosexual sex. So, for relationship reasons, Caitlyn is allegedly willing to drop being a lesbian, de-transition, find a female mate, and have heterosexual sex. Then, instead of two “women exchanging the natural function for that which is unnatural,” as it says in Romans 1:26-27, Bruce will be free to fornicate with a totally clear conscience.Meanwhile, in the wake of a father of ten/grandfather of five trying to decide whether to wear Spanx or a jock strap, Americans are left to deal with a president who publicly praised the former Olympiad for having the “courage to share his or her story.”As a result of that inspiration, Obama’s nondiscriminatory bathroom edicts now demand that courageous feelings, rather than biology, should determine what Americans may have to endure whenever they venture into a public bathroom, shower, or college dorm.
Progressives understand that a transformational culture war will result in collateral damage. So, after terror takes place in the toilet, which it will, rest assured that Barack Obama will react to unfortunate bathroom catastrophes with the same emotionless shoulder shrug he exhibited when Kate Steinle was shot in the back by an un-deported illegal alien felon.
Therefore, after Barack Obama and Housing Secretary Julian Castro finish resettling our neighborhoods this fall, in addition to odd sightings in Target bathrooms, expect to see ISIS refugee infiltrators reapplying their lipstick in the public restroom at the local library.
That being said, lately, America feels like a 10,000-passenger cruise ship originally destined for the Virgin Islands. However, at the behest of merely 30 passengers, or 0.3%, who changed their minds and would rather sail to Cuba, for the last eight years, Captain Obama has steadily changed course.
The problem for the other 9,970 passengers is that, once again, the minority is steering the vessel.
With Caitlyn Jenner and others like him as poster children, Barack Obama preaches against intolerance. But then, on a cruise to nowhere that the 99.7% didn’t sign on for, he forces the intolerable upon those averse to having their privacy subjected to sexual anomalies and theoretical gender distinctions.So, regardless of what Barack Obama says, in the future, if a 6’ 2” woman who looks like Caitlyn Jenner enters the restroom wearing Christian Louboutin heels, just remember that he or she may be wearing sky-high pumps simply to have a clearer view over the top of your stall.
Jeannie hosts a blog at www.jeannie-ology.com