Conservatives really must stop griping about liberal bias on the college campus.  It's like complaining about a lizard's scaly skin.  No matter how many emoluments you rub it down with or how many cucumber slices you plaster on, it's never going to feel like a little baby's butt.

It's a lizard.

Let's look at what happened at Indiana University recently.  The campus almost went into lockdown when it was reported that a KKK member in his white robes was roaming the campus with a whip.  Turns out it was a Catholic priest whose order wears white, and the whip was his rosary.  This tells us, as if we needed to be told, that most left-wing college professors and their very gullible students will advance any idea, no matter how insane, that supports their warped image of America.

After all, they believe that Karl Marx is to economics what Sir Isaac Newton is to the laws of motion.  They believe that Europeans emigrated to North America with the sole end in mind of murdering all the Indians and seizing their interstate highway system.  They believe that Democrats abolished slavery, Ronald Reagan was stupid, the upper ten or twenty percent of earners in the United States don't pay as much taxes as the bottom ten to twenty percent.  That Atticus Finch was a real person and that electric cars somehow charge themselves.

This is not about the science and technology types, the engineering, mathematics, and pre-med, chemistry, physics, and IT students and professors.  Those guys have to deal with issues you can't play around with, like the periodic table of the elements and calculus.  But the other eighty percent go a long distance to prove the truth of Adam Smith's dictum:

[The university] is a sanctuary in which exploded systems and obsolete prejudices find shelter and protection after they have been hunted out of every corner of the world.

This is why conservatives are silly in complaining about the left-wing liberal bias on college campuses – because you have to be a liberal in order to shelter and protect "exploded systems and obsolete prejudices." 

No conservative wants to go down that road, and you can't make him do it.  What we're about first is freedom and not stealing, lying, or cheating.  Beyond that, we believe what the Sermon on the Mount teaches: that life is good and eternal salvation possible.  For the least of us.

That's why we invented this country.

So stop hoping to make the lizard over.  It's not going to happen.  All you can do is skin it, make a good pair of shoes, and then chop the rest of it up for bait. 

That will save us not only a ton of tax dollars, but also any amount of grief in trying to cope with the spoiled, delusional, ungrateful, opinionated, mis-educated, scared, insecure, and unemployable brats the current system produces.

Richard F. Miniter is the author of The Things I Want Most, Random House, BDD.  See it here.  He lives and writes in the colonial-era hamlet of Stone Ridge, New York; blogs here; and can also be reached at miniterhome@gmail.com.