Hillary reassures weepy gay boy of great life as a homosexual

Hillary Clinton told a weepy gay boy that he would  have a great life living as a homosexual.  Actually, I'm not quite she told a weepy gay boy that.  Rather, to be more accurate, she told it  to a photo of a weeping little boy on a homosexual website.

The caption on the photo read, "I'm homosexual and I'm afraid of what my future will be and that people won't like me!"  It could just as easily have read, "I'm sad I didn't understand the latest Terminator movie!" or "I'm sad because an illegal alien shot my mom dead on the Embarcadero in San Francisco!"  For all we know, this could even be a photo of Pajama Boy as a child.

In other words, we don't know if this child actually exists or said what he said he said.  He looks about 9 or 10 years old, and kids usually don't know their sexuality at that age since they aren't yet attracted to anyone sexually.  But we know that the gay community tries to propagandize children at as young an age as possible. Furthermore, homosexuals don't usually call themselves "homosexuals," which makes this propaganda look even less credible.  Nonetheless, since it has more than 13,000,000 likes on Facebook (meaning that at least 400 gays and 12,999,000 robots clicked on it), it caught Hillary Clinton's eye.  She responded:

Prediction from a grown-up: Your future is going to be amazing. You will surprise yourself with what you're capable of and the incredible things you go on to do. Find the people who love and believe in you -- there will be lots of them

Mrs. Clinton is right, of course.  There are a lot of great things about being gay:

1) Affirmative action in college applications.

2) Affirmative action in job applications.

3) A large number of potential partners eager to have gay sex with you, without any form of commitment.  (That's probably what Mrs. Clinton meant when she said "there will be lots of them.")

But there are a few downsides.

1) Risk of AIDS.  

In 2013, in the United States, gay and bisexual men accounted for 81% (30,689) of the 37,887 estimated HIV diagnoses among all males aged 13 years and older and 65% of the 47,352 estimated diagnoses among all persons receiving an HIV diagnosis that year.

Given that about 1% of all men are gay, this means it is tremendously dangerous to your life to be gay.

2) Risk of Hepatitis.  Twenty percent of all Hepatitis B cases are for gay men.  Again, for 1% of the population, that's an enormous increase in risk.

3) Increased risk of depression.  Gays are 50% more likely to suffer from depression.

4) Increased risk of drug use.  Gays are 50% more likely to use illegal drugs.

5) Increased risk of suicide.  Being gay means a much higher rate of suicide, which tracks with the higher rate of depression.

6) No children.  Being gay means no children (unless you pay a lot of money to rent a sympathetic lesbian lady's uterus for 9 months).

Now, what Hillary might have said is, "You don't look to be even 9 years old!  How could you possibly know you're gay?  Have you ever kissed a girl?  Probably not!  Why don't you try it before rushing into conclusions?  Are you just saying this because you learned about this in school and think it sounds cool?  Are you aware of the risks listed above?"

But that probably would not help her in her left-wing primary battle against Bernie Sanders, the Lev Bronstein of Vermont.

This article was produced by NewsMachete.com, the conservative news site.