Help! I'm Being Held in #HashtagHell
We hear so often these days that #BlackLivesMatter. Do they matter because #sanctityoflife or because #Black? If #sanctityoflife, then do not #UnbornLivesMatter? What if they are black unborn lives? That is a conversation #NotAllowed.
Everything is a monologue these days. We are not to #QuestionAuthority, not when that authority comes from Big Government, Big Media, and Big Corporations all speaking in unison. You see, some corporations are better than others, but not because #People, since #CorporationsAreNotPeople. Unless that corporation is Macy's – which, like a person, wants to punish someone for his words – or Coca-Cola, which has its own political opinions. Just last night I was given a Coke at a friend's house and saw printed on the can the words, "Share a Coke with a DREAMER." Apparently #DreamersMatter. Give them a Coke. And while you're at it, give the Palestinians a state and Iran the atom bomb. Americans are generous, when they're not at each other's throats.
From what I hear, #DreamersMatter because "we are all immigrants." So everyone has the same rights. Therefore, #CitizenshipMatters, enough that it should be awarded to all who do not have it, but it doesn't matter if you came by it through birth or legal process. In that case, it entitles you to nothing, not even your own thoughts or religious convictions.
Since all we hear is the government-media-corporate monologue, these bits of thought, these damned hashtags, roll around in my head with nowhere to go. I hear that #SlaveryMatters, quite a lot, but I am simultaneously given to understand that other history does not matter. And certainly, the fallen life of a Virginia farm boy among the thousands killed at #GettysburgDoesNotMatter. We are not to honor his life, his death, or the flag under which he fell, because all things Southern are to be shamed. #CharlestonNotWithstanding. Even though in this day and age, actually since the 1950s, Confederate soldiers and sailors were to be considered American veterans – think Viet Nam, not Afghanistan. Feel free to spit.
I got the memo. We all get them, every day. You may honor your great-great-grandfather if he was a slave, but not if he was a slave owner. Because all slave owners were alike. But not all blacks are alike. You can paint Republicans or Christians or dead Confederates with a broad brush, but not blacks or Arabs or Muslims. In what passes for civil discourse these days, you have to know the rules. You can generalize all you want about the political enemies of Authority, but just remember, all black people are not #Ferguson and all Muslims are not terrorists (even though all terrorists have been Muslim, save #OklahomaCity and the King David Hotel). ISIS can force hundreds of women and girls into slavery every day, but don't burn their flag. They might have to kill you if you do. The safest thing to do is to burn the American flag, or make the ex-Marine down the street take his down.
Similarly, #DNAmatters but only in the Genome Project. If your DNA says you are a man, that #DoesNotMatter. Nor does it matter that every child has exactly one mother and one father, regardless of imposter parents. Oh, did I say "imposter"? What I meant to say was "foster." Careful, now. Watch your words. #LoveMatters. #YouDon't.