Why gay marriage is superior to normal marriage

Politico wasted no time in running an article explaining why gay marriage is better than straight marriage.  It has nothing to do with coefficients of viscosity, lubricants, or angles of attack, but rather with the emotional states of same-sex couples.  The article claimed that homosexuals make better couples than heterosexuals.

... it’s worth keeping in mind the findings of psychologists John and Julie Gottman ... gay couples have an edge[.] ... [G]ay couples have a healthier fighting style than straight couples.

Gottman?  I think "Gottman" is right up there with Barney Frank and Dick Dadey and Peter Buttigeig.  Why do people related to the gay cause often have such suggestive names?

For one peer-reviewed study published in the Journal of Homosexuality ...

What?  There's really a Journal of Homosexuality?  No foolin'?

“The gay and lesbian couples,” Gottman told me, “were much more open and much more direct, particularly when talking about sex.”

The article gave examples of gay men openly arguing about who gets to initiate the sex act on the other, and one lesbian who was jealous of her lesbian companion for flirting with men.

The article went on to say that gay men understood each other better because both were men and understood each other's needs better, and the same for pairs of lesbians, but men and women, because they are so different, have more problems.

The Gottmans give an example from a workshop they held with gay and lesbian couples. They gave couples some exercises to complete and the men went through the exercises much more quickly than the women. While the lesbians felt that there was not enough time to complete the exercise properly—they wanted more time sharing answers among one another and with the group—the men wanted the exact opposite.

So lesbians want more time to complete a certain exercise, and gay men simply want to plow through it.  Isn't it great we have studies to find these things out?

Another reason gay couples love each other so much is because they are unfaithful to each other.

About 60 percent of gay men, one study found, have had sex outside of their marriage and 44 percent of them said that they had done so with the blessing of their partner. By comparison, about 14 percent of straight men and women reported having sex outside of marriage...

I was surprised that gay men were so understanding about their cheating partners, until I read an article about compersion, where one partner feels joy at the other partner's infidelity.

... given how strong the male sex drive is, it’s unrealistic to expect men to remain monogamous for life. Having occasional trysts outside of marriage helps gay men keep the marriage together.  The problem is that when individuals have an orgasm, they release a hormone called oxytocin, which makes people emotionally attached and bonded to another person. “So there is attachment taking place through sex,” he said.

Lesbians suffer from the opposite problem. Rather than having too much sex, they seem to be having too little. The term “lesbian bed death,” coined by the sociologist Pepper Schwartz, is a now-famous descriptor for how little sex lesbian women report having.

So no relationship is perfect, not even among gays and lesbians!  When the gay men fool around, they are getting too oxytocified with other guys.  And lesbians don't get enough sex, perhaps because some sort of connection is missing from their relationship that can't be replicated from plastic.

Still, the article makes clear that oversexed and adulterous gay men and sadly undersexed lesbian couples have better relationships than men and women do.  To  my heterosexual readers, does this make you envious?

This article was produced by NewsMachete.com, the conservative news site.