The real Hillary

I was reading a fawning article about Hillary Clinton in Politico, and the photo of her that they used struck me as odd.  On top, her hair was as yellow as 1,000 crushed dandelions, but on the sides, I could see long wisps of white hair.

That long, wispy white hair kind of looks like the hair that mad scientists in movies have.

Could Hillary look like this in real life?  I think she would want us to know, because I know she's proud of women and girls in all stages of life, and I'm sure she thinks that all women and girls are beautiful to behold, and so, as she is a current woman, and a former girl, I think she would want us to know what she looks like in her natural state.  So I have produced a photo showing what Mrs. Clinton looks like in a world without hydrogen peroxide:

This, I think, is what she really looks like.  And, frankly, I don't think it's so bad.  She's 67 years old right now, but from the photo, she looks as vigorous as my grandma did in her mid-70s.  The wrinkles and shriveling of the skin around her lips are completely normal.  Even if she's physically in a very old body, I think her mind is still young and capable of bringing great change to America – at least, if she doesn't collapse and have any more of those concussions, as she has in the past.  But that happened only once.  Or was it twice?  Or perhaps three times, if you count blood clots in her brain.  But I think that if Mrs. Clinton drinks a lot of liquids, pads the floors with soft carpeting, and uses a walking stick (purely as a safety precaution), she will certainly be capable of meeting the demands of being president.  And with the presence of the Secret Service, she wouldn't even need one of those "I've fallen and can't get up!" buttons!

This article was produced by NewsMachete.com, the conservative news site.