The Real Housewives of ISIS

Hey ladies!  And girls!  If you're disappointed you weren't chosen to be on one of the (Un)Real Housewives of.... franchises have we got a deal for you!  Forget the glamor clothes or throwing water into the face of one of your so called friends at an upscale restaurant.  So phony, so materialistic.  ISIS  (Islamic State of Iraq and Syria) has published a handy guide for all those running from decadent America and Europe to join them in a new, exciting venture for women titled "Women in the Islamic State: A Manifesto and Case Study," which, according to Haaretz, "lists the rights and responsibilities of women who wish to join the organization, also known as ISIS or ISIL, and promises them protection and a more harmonious life, in a world in which "men are men and women are women."

And what does the harmonious life of these real women consist of?

"It is considered legitimate for a girl to be married at the age of nine. Most pure girls will be married by sixteen or seventeen, while they are still young and active. Young men will not be more than twenty years old in those glorious generations."

After marriage, women will remain in the home and take care of the children, though the organization does allow them to leave the house - properly covered up - in special cases. "It is sometimes permissible for a woman to leave the house. The circumstances in which this is permitted are: if she is going to study theology; if she is a women’s doctor or teacher; if it has been ruled by fatwa that she must fight, engage in jihad because the situation of the ummah has become desperate, “as the women of Iraq and Chechnya did, with great sadness”.

But women can get an education geared to their special needs and interests by attending special schools planned just for the unique needs of women--Sharia (Islamic law) believing women that is.

"This is not to say, in any sense that we should wholly do without the necessary worldly sciences without which humans could not live – agriculture, medicine and building and so on. Just those that people need, that help facilitate the lives of Muslims and their affairs are permissible.(snip)

The document nonetheless claims that a woman cannot raise her children if she is "illiterate or ignorant," so ISIS has designed a special educational program for women. From ages 7 through 9 girls should learn Arabic, religious studies and science (accounting and natural sciences). From 10 to 12 they should learn more religious studies, especially those related to women and those concerning marriage and divorce, as well as continuing on in Arabic and science.

Women should also be taught basic skills, such as sewing and knitting, according to the manifesto, as well as the basics of cooking at this age. From 13 to 15, girls will start focusing more on Muslim Sharia law, as well as other skills, especially those related to raising children - and less science," the basics of which will already have been taught." In addition, "they will be taught about Islamic history, the life of the Prophet and his followers."

And in a section that will make leftists and women's studies majors envious, the guide continues.

ISIS also condemns the "tyranny of capitalism," and proposes an Islamic welfare state that will protect working women and her children. Women may work, but no more than three days a week; her workdays should not be too long; she must receive vacation and sick days when her children are at home or her husband must travel. She must also receive two years maternity leave; and "There must be a place to put the children at work until they reach school age, where they can be checked upon from time to time to stop the problems that arise from small children being by themselves in the house or someone to care for them."

But just don't be accused of adultery.  Just the accusation is enough for a quick trial, a quicker verdict and then swift punishment--death by stoning.  The guilty woman is bound and placed in a pit while neighborhood men lob rocks and boulders at her until she is dead.  One woman amazingly survived the punishment; climbing out of the pit and fleeing after her tormenters thought she had died.

"An IS militant was about to open fire at her when an Islamist jurist intervened and stopped him saying it was God's will that she did not die," said the Observatory, without specifying when it happened.

The IS jurist told the woman she can walk free but that she must "repent".

Repent she did, guilty or not.

ISIS is an equal opportunity/affirmative action killer also.

According to the Observatory, at least 15 people, nine of them women, have been executed by jihadists in Syria, including Al-Qaeda-linked militants, since July for alleged adultery and homosexuality.

Oh so much more exciting than the boring lives of housewives here.