Facebook says 58 gender options aren't enough

Facebook used to give people the option to choose male or female for gender but quickly realized it was too limiting, so it created 58 more categories.  Then it decided that the 58 categories weren't enough and now, in addition to them, is adding an "other" box, where you can write something in.  Let's review some of Facebook's 58 categories to see what's missing from the old-fashioned "man" and "woman."

o Neutrois - Someone who doesn't identify with a gender at all. Good for neuters and eunuchs.

o Androgynous - Someone who has male and female characteristics, like guys in prison who take breast pills.

o Bigender - Someone who sometimes thinks he's a guy, and sometimes a girl.  I'm not sure if large buttocks are involved.

o Cisgender - That's the transgender name for normal people like you and me – men who think they're men and women who think they're women.  Personally I prefer the terms "native man" and "native woman"; like "Native American," I was born that way.

o Female to Male - A woman in the process of becoming a male.  She may still be working on that deep voice.

o Male to Female - A man in the process of becoming female.  He may or may not have become six inches shorter, or may simply wear ladies' clothing and talk in a high-pitched voice.

o Gender Fluid - Someone with male and female characteristics, though gender fluid sounds like someone who has a leak in his pants.  "Help, I'm leaking gender fluid!"

o Gender Questioning - People who look in their pants and aren't sure what's there.

o Intersex - People with male and female parts.  Somehow in my mind I always relate Hillary Clinton to this category.

o Non-binary.  People who feel they need a "three-dimensional chart" to describe their gender.  I'm quoting from the article; I'm not making this up.

o Pamgender.  Another term for mixed up people.  If you're "pamgender," however, you lean more to the female side (ha ha!).

But Facebook found that these and others weren't enough, so now they also have a box where you can enter what you like.  I think, however, that even an enter-what-you-like box is not enough.  You should be able to enter a sound to describe your gender, like the clack-clack sound the tribes of New Guinea make.  You should be able to upload a symbol to describe your gender, like the one for the artist formerly known as Prince.  You should also be able to upload a song to describe your gender, or mail in an object, like a rock or a piece of glass, or an abstract art painting of diagonal stripes, to describe your gender.

Because we all know how vitally important it is to describe your gender on Facebook.  How could you use Facebook, or any other software program, without describing your gender in great detail?  In fact, thinking more on it, all software should become more progressive in this way.  Right now Word and Excel and Chrome have no way to enter your gender.  How can we really use these programs in a progressive way if we cannot enter our gender?  They should each provide a 255-character box where we can enter our genders, and allow additional spaces for a list of pronouns we'd like to use to describe ourselves.

On the Facebook profile page, they actually give you the option to choose up to ten genders at a time.  But they do not yet have a checkbox you can check if you'd like to be contacted by a psychiatrist, so they still have a ways to go.

Pedro Gonzales is the editor of Newsmachete.com, the conservative news site.

Facebook used to give people the option to choose male or female for gender but quickly realized it was too limiting, so it created 58 more categories.  Then it decided that the 58 categories weren't enough and now, in addition to them, is adding an "other" box, where you can write something in.  Let's review some of Facebook's 58 categories to see what's missing from the old-fashioned "man" and "woman."

o Neutrois - Someone who doesn't identify with a gender at all. Good for neuters and eunuchs.

o Androgynous - Someone who has male and female characteristics, like guys in prison who take breast pills.

o Bigender - Someone who sometimes thinks he's a guy, and sometimes a girl.  I'm not sure if large buttocks are involved.

o Cisgender - That's the transgender name for normal people like you and me – men who think they're men and women who think they're women.  Personally I prefer the terms "native man" and "native woman"; like "Native American," I was born that way.

o Female to Male - A woman in the process of becoming a male.  She may still be working on that deep voice.

o Male to Female - A man in the process of becoming female.  He may or may not have become six inches shorter, or may simply wear ladies' clothing and talk in a high-pitched voice.

o Gender Fluid - Someone with male and female characteristics, though gender fluid sounds like someone who has a leak in his pants.  "Help, I'm leaking gender fluid!"

o Gender Questioning - People who look in their pants and aren't sure what's there.

o Intersex - People with male and female parts.  Somehow in my mind I always relate Hillary Clinton to this category.

o Non-binary.  People who feel they need a "three-dimensional chart" to describe their gender.  I'm quoting from the article; I'm not making this up.

o Pamgender.  Another term for mixed up people.  If you're "pamgender," however, you lean more to the female side (ha ha!).

But Facebook found that these and others weren't enough, so now they also have a box where you can enter what you like.  I think, however, that even an enter-what-you-like box is not enough.  You should be able to enter a sound to describe your gender, like the clack-clack sound the tribes of New Guinea make.  You should be able to upload a symbol to describe your gender, like the one for the artist formerly known as Prince.  You should also be able to upload a song to describe your gender, or mail in an object, like a rock or a piece of glass, or an abstract art painting of diagonal stripes, to describe your gender.

Because we all know how vitally important it is to describe your gender on Facebook.  How could you use Facebook, or any other software program, without describing your gender in great detail?  In fact, thinking more on it, all software should become more progressive in this way.  Right now Word and Excel and Chrome have no way to enter your gender.  How can we really use these programs in a progressive way if we cannot enter our gender?  They should each provide a 255-character box where we can enter our genders, and allow additional spaces for a list of pronouns we'd like to use to describe ourselves.

On the Facebook profile page, they actually give you the option to choose up to ten genders at a time.  But they do not yet have a checkbox you can check if you'd like to be contacted by a psychiatrist, so they still have a ways to go.

Pedro Gonzales is the editor of Newsmachete.com, the conservative news site.