Things Christine O'Donnell didn't do

The press is obsessed that Delaware Republican Senate nominee, Christine O'Donnell said that as a high-school student she hung out with kids who styled themselves witches.

For this we're now to conclude that she's unfit to serve in the Congress of the United States  A body composed of individuals of the most admirable rectitude. Apparently none of them ever did anything silly in high school.

Furthermore, we do know that O'Donnell similarly falls short of standards set by Democratic law makers and chief executives because she never

  • drove drunk off a bridge.
  • left a woman to drown to death because she was unsure of how it would affect her career.
  • took a bribe.
  • used her office to protect a bank her husband owned shares in.
  • had sex with an intern
  • cheated on her taxes
  • did cocaine and then wrote about how hilarious that was.
  • pardoned felons in exchange for campaign contributions
  • destroyed evidence of a crime
  • perjured herself before a grand jury
  • belonged to the Ku Klux Klan

It's as clear as can be that his woman just doesn't belong in Washington