Other Awards Obama Deserves to Win

After 11 days in office, President Barack Hussein Obama was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize. This is obviously now a meaningless prize. So, what other meaningful prizes does President Obama deserve to win?

The Cy Young Award for throwing the first pitch at the 2009 All Star Game that almost reached home plate. The Tour de France for riding his mountain bike around Martha's Vineyard without a helmet.

The Nobel Prize for Fiction (shared with William Ayers) for inventing a compelling character named Barack Obama in Dreams From My Father who bears no resemblance to the man the world has come to know.

The Emmy Award for Best Guest Actor in a Comedy Series for Obama's hysterical performance on the creepy David Letterman's show.

The Goldman Environmental Prize for producing more carbon dioxide with Air Force One than any other President in their first 10 months in office. We now know that carbon dioxide helps the earth, contrary to the supporters of the hoax of man-made global warming. The trees thank you President Obama!

The BET Humanitarian Award for intervening in the racial profiling of the Cambridge, MA, Police Department. Oh, wait, there was no racial profiling by the police, no matter, give the President the award anyway. It will inspire him to do more in the future.

The 2016 Olympics Gold Medal for the new event, The Foot In Mouth Competition.

The Nobel Prize for Economics for destroying an economy faster than any other leader in recent history.

People Magazine's Worst Dressed Celebrity for the homey outfit President Obama wore at the All-Star Game.

The Bill Clinton "Is is" Big Lie Award for saying that illegal immigrants would not be covered under Obamacare, and then painting Joe Wilson out to be a liar when he shouted "You lie.”

The Benito Mussolini Create a False Crisis Award for: 1) rushing the $787 billion Porkulus bill through Congress even though most of the spending wouldn't occur until the second year; 2) rushing through the bailouts and illegal bankruptcy proceedings for Chrysler and GM; 3) trying to get the Cap and Trade bill through Congress in 3 weeks without public debate; 4) trying to reform America's health care system in three weeks without public debate. Never let a crisis go to waste, even if you have to manufacture a crisis.

The Nobel Peace Prize for … uh, he actually won this one. Oops.