The time has come for someone to put their foot down. And that foot is me.
--Dean Vernon Wormer
A few months back (in American Thinker) I unveiled my proposal for a SUP Tax on stupid useless people. Actors. Actresses. Athletes. Singers. People who need to be on the cover of People.*
(*They're the luckiest people in the world.)
I thought my list of worthless careers was fairly comprehensive. However, after listening to our President's explanation of the condition of medical care in the United States, I realized I had left out one important category: the family doctor.
I used to have such respect for doctors. After college, they put their lives on hold for seven more years, racking up huge debts and earning little. They worked hard, put in long hours, and were guaranteed nothing. But, at least, society respected doctors.
Boy, was I naive!
OBAMA: If a family care physician works with his or her patient to help them lose weight, modify diet, monitors whether they're taking their medications in a timely fashion, they might get reimbursed a pittance. But if that same diabetic ends up getting their foot amputated, that's $30,000, $40,000, $50,000 immediately the surgeon is reimbursed. But why not make sure that we're also reimbursing the care that prevents the amputation? Right? That will save us money.
I was shocked and dismayed. The picture I had of doctors was all wrong. All they care about is the money. Our President has told the American people that doctors sacrifice their patients' care for the big bucks. Fifty grand to unnecessarily cut off a patient's foot. Wow. It's a miracle any of us have a leg to stand on.
In fact, our President has told the entire world that America's doctors are monsters. Rapacious monsters. I don't know about you, but I'm grateful to have my illusions about the medical profession (profession? Ha!) debunked.
Soon the stock villains in slasher horror films will be American doctors. I can see it now. Surgeons with chain saws going through the neighborhood slicing up teenagers.
Last week, I heard Senator Claire McCaskill (D.-Mo.) say that there are too many people riding around on government-purchased scooters. Well, duh, Senator. If doctors are cutting off so many feet unnecessarily, of course people are going to need scooters.
If this doesn't stop, pretty soon out-of-work Americans will cut off their own legs. Can you imagine the run on table saws at Home Depot?
How about hands? Tongues? Heads (a vestigial organ for many in our nation's capital, anyway)? If a doctor can get $50,000 for a single foot, he can earn $200,000 by dismembering just one of us. That'll buy a boat or Bentley, you know.
Imagine how much money we can save by ending this heinous practice. I'm so glad that President Obama understands the scope of our national problem of villainous pedepruners and has warned the country of the dangers of trusting doctors.
Alternatively, we can trust our family doctor and distrust our President. Except for those of us who are suffering from terminal cognitive dissonance, I'm afraid it's got to be one or the other.