Saturday Tales from The 57 States: Joseph the Dreamer Speaks

Early in the reign of His Obamaness as POTUS, His VOTUS, Joseph the Dreamer, again brought comic relief from the weighty issues of The 57 States.  It came to pass thusly:

Toward the end of the third moon of His Obamaness’ rule, Joseph said, “Back when I had a big chair in the Senate, I told Bush the Younger, ‘Hey, look chum, ain’t nobody followin’ you. You’re pretty much toast. Like a hood ornament on an Edsel, my man.’”  

Now very soon thereafter, several among the closest advisors in the Court of Bush the Younger said, “Joe’s at it again. Makin’ stuff up.”

Some did think that this was just another case of Joseph offering comic relief to the people of the 57 States who were anxious for the fate of their markets. A few wondered if Joseph had not been sent on a mission to attract the lighting of people’s interest, as their attention was always directed by town criers, so as to take their eyes off matters of greater weight. Anyway…

Whatever his reason, Joseph was, it seemed, only behaving as he was apt to behave – a Dreamer who spoke aloud as being actual that which was but virtual in his imagination. Like the time he told a story from his days as a youth before the era of Ike the General.  

As that story went, once upon a time, back in the days when people sought to learn day-old news from a piece of papyrus-like material covered with dye that soiled their hands, Joseph was a small boy with a paper route that included the POTUS Palace.

One day, as he delivered the old news, POTUS Truman met him at the front door and asked his advice.  “Young Joseph,” Truman said, “I see that you are destined to someday visit this Palace on official state business, and be a wise counselor to the POTUS.  So let me ask you this: What should I do about General MacArthur? He vexes me so.”  

Joseph put down his sack of papers, thought a moment, and said, “Listen, Chief, ya know, General Arthur…..ah, I mean MacArthur, he’s gotta lot of jack in this town. But look, I say you give him the ol’ heave-ho and fire his sorry butt.

So it was that even at a young age, Joseph was inclined to speak from the slang edge of the vernacular so as to virtually present himself as more confident and well-versed than he was actually.  

From that day onward, Joseph said that POTUS Truman waved to him as he delivered the old news, and presented him with handsome tips on festival days.

Hey,” Joseph said, “he said I should call him ‘Harry,’ Harry invited me to sit in on one of his cabinet meetings. It was me who suggested the whole idea of the Marshall Plan.  In fact, when I was leaving the POTUS Palace that day, I passed Dr. Jonas Salk and said to him, ‘Yo, Doc, when you gonna find that polio vaccine thing? What’s the hold up, Pal?’”

Such was the familiarity and collegiality with which Joseph the Dreamer, even as a boy, addressed all the great princes and nobles, as well as the anonymous commoners, throughout all The 57 States.

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