Conservatives Could Conquer Canada

Senate Republicans are busy betraying their voters by working with Democrats in the final days of a lame-duck session of Congress to push mass amnesty for millions of illegal aliens.  Their actions are outrageous yet surprise no one with a brain.  This is what Establishment Republicans do.  This is why they lose.  And this is why they will eventually go extinct. 

Our Uniparty politicians' execrable disregard for the overwhelming will of the American people, who have for decades demanded an end to rampant crime emanating from our dangerous open borders, was one of the most salient issues propelling Donald Trump's 2016 victory.  It would be easy to say that Thom Tillis, Lindsey Graham, Turtle McConnell, and the rest of their D.C. tribe of traitors learned nothing from the popular immigration policies of the MAGA president, whose election as a political outsider was a stark rebuke to Establishment Republican rule, but that would be a lie.  They know they are stabbing hardworking Americans in the back and actively encouraging continued lawlessness that will have a financial impact on families' bottom line and a devastating personal impact on those families that one day lose loved ones to border-related drug-trafficking and violent crime.  They just don't care — especially when they remain protected in private gated communities and their billionaire corporate donors who subsidize this kind of modern-day slave labor remain happy.  Tall walls and cheap labor for the "elites" — let the little people choke on fentanyl, low-paying jobs, gang-instigated homicides, and stale bug cake!  It's the RINO way.

All of this makes me salivate for a future time when enough conservative Americans might finally get so fed up with plantation life under the rule of our D.C. lords and ladies that they simply toss out the Queensberry Rules moderating their good behavior and throw all the tea in Boston Harbor once again.  At the very least, I don't see why we wouldn't all come to the logical conclusion that turnabout is fair play and say, "Nuts to this, let's just take Canada."

Nothing against our friends to the North; I have known many good Canadian conservatives who cherish their freedom and self-rule as much as any "don't tread on me" American patriot.  The soft and squishy leftist loonies, though — well, their maple-logged noggins often make them sound as daft as (allegedly!) Fidel Castro's derpy ruling son.  In my experience, it is not difficult to tell the difference: commie-curious Canadian men wear tight pants, are proud to have a flexible "gender," and are often the descendants of American draft-dodgers, Loyalists who Benedict Arnold-ed us during the War for Independence, and the arsonists who set the White House ablaze in 1814.  Although they might have hated Queen Elizabeth II because she threatened their masculinity, they bow exuberantly before the Green King Charles III because he prays to their one, true global warming god.  Conservative Canadians, on the other hand, love their land; protect their families; and generally not only are handy with a gun, but also know how to wield an axe and shovel, to boot.  Come to think of it, when push comes to shove, skill with those three tools is always nice to have.

Anyway, my feeling is, what's good for the goose is good for the gander.  According to some statistical models, there may be thirty million illegal aliens living in the United States, while Canada — the second largest country by total area in the world — has an overall population of less than forty million.  That's a lot of extra space begging for adventurous conquest (er, I mean, resettlement!).  If Americans must sit down and behave quietly while thirty million or more illegal aliens conquer ol' U.S. of A. without so much as a "beg your pardon" or "by your leave," then buckle up, Canucks, because tens of millions of your favorite American relatives might soon be taking a one-way road trip straight up past the 49th, the 45th parallel...oh, you know, wherever the Dunkin' Donuts magically turn into Tim Hortons, crispy bacon becomes back bacon, and the people with welcoming smiles wear sweaters in summer.  There's always a fine linguistic demarcation where the don't you know interjections of Minnesota and North Dakota quietly transform into the long, happy, crescendoing eh's ending every other sentence spoken by our moose-loving friends across the border.

You've got so much empty land up there; it's time to share.  Forced "sharing," I'm told, is what all good Americans (and we're all Americans, right?) must do.  So move over, Canada; here come the Yanks.

What's that? The he/she/it wokester in the back wearing snow boots and a mad bomber hat has something to say?  You don't think it would be fair for forty million conservative Americans to move in and instantly become the Canadian majority overnight?  Well, tough cookies, friend!  I've been repeatedly assured by our Uniparty pols in the States that such considerations are so despicable that they deserve to be banned as unacceptable "hate speech."  It is every Canadian's moral duty to accept political refugees from the south, and in case you hadn't noticed all the MAGA Americans being persecuted for their beliefs in kangaroo courts, J6 congressional show trials, and other Constitution-bending public tribunals, the U.S. is right now brimming with future political exiles.  The FBI has gone so far as to declare that America-loving patriots paradoxically represent the nation's number-one domestic threat.  You think anybody wearing a red hat down here these days can get a fair shake?  Government-directed social media companies censor MAGA conservatives' speech; the Department of (in)Justice labels them "domestic extremists"; (p)Resident Joe Biden all but declared war against them in September during his infamous blood-drenched Philadelphia harangue.  If anyone should qualify for refugee status and political asylum, it is the seventy-five million American Trump voters who continue to be threatened with legal, professional, and social sanction to this day.

Besides, as the tens of millions of illegal aliens in our own country have proven, it is apparently better to break the law first and then seek forgiveness (through general amnesty) than it is to seek permission for entry and legal residency.  This is certainly not what any of us law-abiding citizens would have wanted, but seeing that it is the going rule now promulgated by snobby, globalist Western politicos everywhere, I see very little that the people of Canada can do to keep American refugees from crossing their border, too.

Hey, maybe you'll grow to like us.  Forced diversity can be your strength, as well!  Once we load up the trucks, make the journey, and join up with our ol' liberty-loving Canadian conservative friends, maybe we can finally free the top chunk of North America from rampant Marxism once and for all.  Think about that clean-up job; a Canada without totalitarian Trudeau-ism might be a welcome sight for people suffering under his mayonnaise-soaked tyrannical yoke.

First we overthrow Fidel Castro's (alleged!) son and liberate the axe-wielding freedom-lovers of the North.  Then conservatives everywhere come together to build a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.  The United Provinces of America — stranger things have happened.  Just ask the British, who ignored ten years' worth of warnings that revolution loomed in their North American colonies and required another forty years to finally reach the acceptance stage of their grief.

Make Canada Great Again?  Why not?  As Thomas Jefferson reminded: "A little rebellion now and then is a good thing, and as necessary in the political world as storms in the physical."  Amen!


Image via Pxhere.

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