The Ballad of China Joe

After a series of disastrous video conferences demonstrating that what he lacks in brains, he makes up for with dementia, the presumptive Democrat nominee is already facing stiff competition from a guy who's not even a candidate for the presidency.  That's right.  There are all kinds of rumors that Andy Cuomo, the second Fredo of the Cuomo crime family, is emerging to give Old Joe a run for his ill gotten money. 

Imagine "D'oh!" Joe's utter confusion right now.  He's walking around his Wilmington, Delaware mansion (which a lifetime of "public service" has somehow afforded him) without pants, wondering where he is and why his staff keep having him talk to the funny flat screen with Democrat-operative news anchors whose names he can't remember staring back at him, and he's being told that Mario Cuomo's kid is now second in the betting odds for the nomination.

Like most stories that end with a search for Biden's pants, the Democrats' current predicament stems from Barack Obama's choice to surround himself with a collection of corruptocrats and idiots.  The former camp were there to do his bidding, while the latter camp existed to provide him cover when times got rough.  (You can decide which staff members fell into each category.  I know he chose a director of National Intelligence who makes Woe Joe look like a Mensa savant, a wacky inflatable tube dancer to Inspector Clouseau the heck out of his FBI, and a cartoonish stompy-foot buffoon who always looks like somebody is yanking his pigtails to head the CIA.)  Obama liked to say he chose Biden to be his V.P. because he knew that Biden could step into the big job on day one should something unforeseen happen, but that was always laughable.  We all knew that Biden was there to sweep up blue-collar whites across the Rust Belt into the Democrats' intersectionality netting while guaranteeing to power-hungry party players with future designs on the White House once Obama was gone that there was no natural successor to inherit his mantle.  Obama saw Biden as too stupid to know when he was being stabbed in the back; Hillary saw Biden as too stupid to know when she was gutting him to his face.  

All in all, Biden's stoogery worked well.  Not for the country, mind you.  For us, we were one heartbeat away from replacing a corrupt, cynical race-hustler and con man with a corrupt, bought-and-paid-for Chinese cat's-paw whose manifested imbecility was merging with latent senility to create some inscrutable version of Leonard Shelby speaking by way of Mad Libs.  (Mad Libs!  Now that's an accurate label for a Democratic Party that despises democratic principles.  Name change, please!).  But for Obama and Hillary, it worked swimmingly.  Biden posed no threat to take down Obama surreptitiously from within, and he posed no threat to Hillary's Faustian deal for the Oval Office once Obama finished building monuments to himself.  David Axelrod, Valerie Jarrett, and the rest of Obama's frat house loyalists must have thought it ingenious to have the perfect patsy waiting should the need ever come calling.  They had no idea that the Republican Congress would allow them to get away with bloody murder for eight long years in order to spare themselves the horror of being called "racist."  Fighting the Republicans with that other dreaded R-word was so effective that Operation Biden never remotely entered the picture.  He left the U.S. Naval Observatory with only two questions: (1) how could a sitting V.P. not ensnared in scandal be passed over by the Democrats for the legal spouse of former president Clinton?, and (2) how many years had he been living in a submarine?  I do believe he has answered neither question for himself all this time later.  

For 2020, Biden slipped on some pants, visited the local cosmetic surgeon for a tune-up, and hit the campaign trail with all the vigor of a mad cow disease victim after embalming.  This time, though, the Democrats were behind him.  They threw "hope and change" out the window in favor of their old marionette's appeal to the voters they lost in 2016 to President Trump.  If the party faithful had to prop up Old Joe today so Vice President Harris can take over tomorrow, Operation Biden Part II it is!  Once a patsy, always a patsy, right?  

But something terrible has interrupted the script once again.  Just as the Democrats were about to nominate an eighty-year-old white guy as their diversity cult leader, the Chinese Communist Party helped unleash a coronavirus upon the world that has throttled the West.  Normally, this would be no big deal.  The Democrats (and some notable Republicans) have always done China's bidding.  When the Clintons weren't selling off the Lincoln Bedroom and stealing the White House china (Now it makes sense!), they were awarding our most dangerous geopolitical foe with Most Favored Nation status at the WTO and shipping all of America's labor jobs to the other side of the globe.  And China Joe has always played right along in exchange for  profitable financial deals for his coke-enfeebled son and assorted grifting family members.  Usually this has posed no problem because the Republican nominee has had his hand in the honey jar, too, selling out American workers and making an extra buck on the side, while singing that sweet lyrical tribute to "free trade" for all to hear.    

This time, though, President Trump is staring back at them from behind the Resolute desk, the one Republican who ran for president on the promise of punching back at China twice as hard as the Chinese have been slamming us for decades and the first American president in quite a while to have the audacity to follow through with his promises from the campaign trail.  All of a sudden, the patsy marionette who promised to bring George Soros back to power has a China problem.

This brings us to Mario Cuomo's progeny.  The primary has already destroyed all the other Democrat candidates, but there sit Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum talking to the American people every day about the Chinese coronavirus during our nation's time of need.  As legacy members of the Old Guard, the Cuomos already have Democrat corruption in their blood, and with cognitive aptitudes on par with Old Joe's, they'd be easy prey for the party to manipulate further.  Since they already gave one brother the anchor job at CNN, it's just good sense to make the other president.  

So, look out, Joe!  You may end up winning the most delegates before being aborted by the party anyway.  The South Carolina primary resuscitated your campaign; the party leadership is keeping you comfortable and coddled; but there is a very real discussion ensuing right now between the superdelegates and the Democrat base throughout the country about whether to let your nomination yet live.  If you see your driver heading toward any Planned Parenthood locations, play possum.  

Image: Marc Nozell via Flickr.

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