Conservatives Are Waking Up at Last

I know I shouldn’t say this, but my mind turns to it after all the D-Day celebration last week.

What if the Mueller probe was the deep state’s last desperate effort to stop the populist steamroller from looting and plundering its bureaucratic fiefs and dissolving its plush academic monasteries? What if the offensive has now failed, and all the best lefty troops were ground up in the Mueller Battle of the Bulge?

I know, I know. Don’t get cocky, kid.

And what if the social media deplatforming of obscure “far right” actors -- people who would be heroic “activists” if they were lefties -- is in fact directing attention to them?

And what if the vile actions of lefty activists on e.g., Gibson’s Bakery in Oberlin, Ohio, are sending secret coded messages to ordinary deplorable Americans? That there is noplace to hide from vile lefty activism unless we act now -- and reelect President Trump.

But I get it.

I get that the moral panics that engage our lefty friends are as human as apple pie.

Back in the old days humans had moral panics about Old Scratch and marginal women living a mile out of town who might or might not be witches.

But now we have moral panics about Victims: workers, women, minorities, LBGT. It really doesn’t matter who it is, just that we all agree -- or can be made to agree if we want to keep our jobs -- that the current victim du jour is the worst thing, like, ever. Now it’s migrants, and every lefty in the world is determined upon justice for migrants and refugees.

I think we need to revise the Narrative. Up to now, the wise heads have taught us to believe that witch-hunts, religious wars, Great Awakenings, reigns of terror, great purges, McCarthyism, fighting Nazis, Sixties hippies, and political correctness, and Great Awokenings were all exceptions to the rule of peaceful cooperation and religious observance.

Not at all. I propose that the opposite is true.

I propose that humans are programmed to get riled up at the least little thing, and get their family and friends all riled up, and then go out and rid the world of dangerous human vermin.

The abnormal thing is for old white patriarchs to get together, sketch out a constitution cunningly designed to set the activists against each other so the rest of us can wive and thrive in peace, and get it approved and to work for about a century before the activists got together and figured out how to turn a dead document into a “living constitution.”

Many people have been ragging on the conservative movement for failing to take on the left over the last half century. But I think we should be charitable about this failure. We conservatives did not appreciate that for religious -- and secular-religious -- people, the heightened awareness of a religious pilgrimage and the deep and satisfying experience of teaching the bakers of wedding cakes an ethical lesson is the very meaning of life.

We thought that after defeating German Nazism and then Soviet Communism and showing, with Reagan, that western market capitalism was the only game in town, there would be no need to keep the fight against the left any more. But it turned out that the Buckleyites and RINOs were wrong. Humans live and die by their faith, and lefties live and die by their saving faith that they are called -- by the arc of history -- to save the Victims from millennia of injustice of the white supremacist patriarchy.

So what we need to do is create a movement that experiences itself in a moral crusade to fight the satanic forces of the left. In this movement we will believe in the glorious vision of logic and reason, the stunning beneficence of the market economy, the saving grace of Christianity, the dissolution of the academic monasteries, and the sensible fake-tribalism of the nation. We will fight to the last man against the satanic forces of victim worship, of government-for-everything, of egoistic activism, of “mostly peaceful protest,” of social-media censorship, and the dictatorship of the educated. And we will raise up an army of deplorables to make it so.

And whaddya know, here are a couple of people saying almost the same thing this week: Thaddeus G. McCotter in “Smiling Throught the ‘Apocali,’” and Deion A. Kathawa in “The Right Needs to Take Language Seriously.”

But I tell you what is scandalous about all this. How come it took a commodities trader like Nigel Farage and a real-estate tycoon like Donald Trump to jump-start the Conservative Awokening? I thought we had philosophers and other deep thinkers for that.

Christopher Chantrill @chrischantrill runs the go-to site on US government finances, Also get his American Manifesto and his Road to the Middle Class.