Honor Killing Victim Jessica Mokdad's Mother Leaves Islam and Apologizes
My AFDI Jessica Mokdad Human Rights conference on April 29, 2012 in Dearborn, Michigan was the first (and only) conference of its kind dedicated to increasing awareness of honor killings and gendercide under sharia. When we first called the conference, the only attention the media paid to it at all was to give a platform to Jessica Mokdad's family, which was angry that Jessica's name was being used and claiming that Jessica's murder was not an Islamic honor killing. Jessica's father threatened to sue me. But now Jessica's mother has contacted me to confirm that it was indeed an honor killing and to thank me for standing for her daughter.
She Facebook-messaged me:
My daughter is Jessica mom dad and she was killed by her step father a muslim from Iraq, in Warren, Michigan. I was muslim at that time, but I felt I was brain washed into it. I'm a Christian again Thank JESUS! I believe you had a meeting here in Dearborn in 2011. I wish I was thinking then the way I do now. I'd like to thank you for all u do! I hate Islam and everything it stands for! I was in in for 16 years! I regret every minute! God bless you and all u do!
We always knew this to be true, but now the Muslims and leftists who complained about my event are exposed as liars. I named the conference after Jessica because she was the victim of an honor killing. Her family should have been standing with us instead of denying this. Darwin Jiles, a close friend of Jessica and a powerful speaker at our conference, said, "Jessica was someone who wanted to have liberties, like every other young lady that is born in America outside of the traditions of Islam are able to do, to pursue her own happiness, and to pursue her own dreams." About Jessica's stepmother, Cassandra, who claimed that it was not an honor killing, Jiles said, "Cassandra really is portraying a false picture. And Pamela has every right to place the conference to be named after Jessica in regards to this, because it was Islam that caused her death."
I recently spoke with Wendy Wasinski, Jessica's mother. She has left Islam and returned to Catholicism. She told me that Jessica's stepfather, Rahim Alfetlawi, who murdered Jessica, "wanted us to pray and learn to fast and all this, but he wasn't doing it."
Wendy recalled Alfetlawi's attitude toward Jessica: "He would yell at her a lot...it was mental abuse. He was a mental abuser, big time. He would just play all these head and mind games. He made us believe that he was psychic."
He backed this up with subterfuge. Says Wendy: "I found a little tape recorder. ... He had been recording conversations with me and my daughter, and I'd get mad at him. I'm like, 'What's the point of that?' And I'm like, 'So, what are you trying to tell me? You're not really psychic, then?" And he'd, like, blow up and get all mad about it. I'm like, 'Why do you have to find out what we're talking about? Like, nobody can have privacy?'" She adds: "It was all control. It was all about, you know, him controlling both of us."
There was also some physical abuse. Wendy said that Alfetlawi "had slapped her a couple of times here and there over the years, but it wasn't anything hard or continuous." But that runs counter to what Jessica's texts revealed during the trial. Jessica wrote, "He's obsessed with me. He would punish me, and make me cry every day. I'd like to see his ass beat like he's done to me all these years."
And Alfetlawi was deceptively nonchalant about Jessica not wearing the hijab: "He was so calm and cool and he told me, 'Don't worry about it if she takes the scarf off now. We just need her to be, you know, comfortable.' He didn't blow up like I thought he was gonna. In front of me, he kept it a cool, a calm, and a cool collected attitude." But Jessica's texts reveal something else: Mokdad wrote that Alfetlawi made a surprise visit and "found out I don't wear a scarf."
Alfetlawi's outward calm may have been an attempt to cover for his own actions. "She told me the night before she was killed that he had raped her," and Jessica told her mother, "[I]f I tell you, he would kill you, mom." "They couldn't prove it, obviously, because of the, you know, time that elapsed. And when I told her, you know, don't tell anybody, just keep cool, because I was devising a way to get away from him, and then me and her go away." But Alfetlawi discovered this plan: "I think he knew that. And I think that, that's why he left within two hours after we talked, me and her. ... And I think he wanted to shut her up, if you want my honest opinion. I think he wanted to shut her up."
Alfetlawi kidnapped her; he abducted her and forced her to return to his Minnesota home. Wendy explained: "He threatened us both. And my mom overheard him tell her, 'If you don't come with me right now ... I'll kill you.' My mom testified to that. He was nuts. He really was."
"Nuts" is an understatement. He forced Wendy to put spyware on Jessica's computer and told Jessica he would kill Wendy. Wendy recalls: "He was like, 'I'll bring your mom in front of you and I'll kill her.' That killed me, too, inside, thinking that my daughter was protecting me."
Jessica left at that point. Recalls Wendy: "Well, she had moved out[.] ... First, she was with her dad – her real dad, Mohammed. And then there was a problem between his new wife, which was only three years older than Jessica[.] ... And I think he was jealous because Jess had a new relationship. They were becoming bonded, her and her father, biological father; they were becoming very close. And I think that bothered her. Because she was taking her time off ... [y]ou know, time from him and her. ... So, basically, when I came to visit at Christmastime, I said, 'Okay. Grandma said you can come and live there, you and Mikey,' her boyfriend. Her husband in Islam. Whatever you want to call it."
Wendy continues: "I helped her move[.] ... I moved them to my mom's house, and at that point, she was living with my mom and helping her and stuff like that. And they actually enjoyed being around each other, and, you know, it was nice. It was good for them, and they helped my grandma, too, because my grandma lives only a mile away. So it actually worked out nicely." But the difficulties continued: "It was hard, though, because she was trying to get close to her real dad, but his wife just ... couldn't tolerate it."
What's more, Jessica's biological father had been physically abusive to Wendy. She recently discovered that he had had a son by another woman. The son told Wendy that he didn't want to have anything to do with his father anymore. "And I said, 'Well, I don't blame you, you know, 'cause he was physically abusive to me.' ... I have a scar on my – under my nose from him throwing a stick at me."
While living with her grandmother, Jessica became more observant in Islam. "As far as I knew, even when she was with her boyfriend at my mom's, she said that they even fasted together and stuff, and I'm like, 'Oh, that's great,' you know? So I guess she tried, but she wanted the scarf off. She wanted to feel what it was like without it, and I was like, 'Okay,' you know? At first, I was mad[.] ... I was more showing that I was mad about it, just because, you know, at the time, I was into it."
But Alfetlawi told Wendy: "'Just leave her.' He'd tell me this on my own. Like, she's here in Michigan, and we were in Minnesota, and he'd tell me, 'Just calm down. Don't worry about it. Let her do what she wants to do. She'll ... [y]ou know, she'll come around.' See, these were the things that he told me, and that's why it shocked me. I felt like it was 'cause he wanted to shut her up. That's what I felt about, about the rape, because if anybody really knew that he had raped her, that would be the biggest disgrace."
Wendy recalls that Jessica "was very kind-hearted, you know? Like, she would help my grandma, my mom, all the time[.] ... The elderly, you know?" When Alfetlawi killed her, Jessica was going to clean Wendy's grandmother's apartment. "She'd help clean out my grandma's apartment. My grandma died eleven days before that. ... She was helping. 'Cause my mom was there and my cousin, and then him and her, and they were just cleaning out the apartment, because she had a senior apartment, and so everything was going back to my mom's house in the garage. ... She was a good kid. She really was."
Wendy recalls: "He would've killed me, too, because he begged me to come with him." This was on the day he murdered Jessica. "And I said 'no,' because I hate going. Wait 12 hours' drive and only stay for one or two days, because I couldn't get off work. I said, I wanna go there for at least five days. At least. You know, my mom, my – my grandma, my – my daughter. I can't. I can't just be there for one day and say, 'Bye. See ya later.' You know, I can't. It pulls at my heart, you know? That's what I told him. But he begged me to come there. I often wonder what would've happened."
Wendy concluded: "I thank God every day I'm not in that relationship anymore." She gave me some advice for other women who convert to Islam and marry Muslims: "I'm totally against it. They have no idea what they're in for. I don't care what they tell you. They can sweet-talk you, they can promise you the world, but that's all going to change mighty fast ... either when they marry you or get you pregnant, or whatever else, you know?" Wendy told one woman considering marrying an Egyptian Muslims, "Being with a Muslim person is not what you think. Believe me, I poured my heart and soul into every text to, you know, try to reason with her, to try to save her. I told her, it'll be the worst mistake of your entire life if you go over there and marry him."
Pamela Geller is the author of the bestselling book Fatwa: Hunted in America and publisher of Geller Report. She is president of the American Freedom Defense Initiative (AFDI). Follow her on Twitter here. Like her on Facebook here.