Sleep Positions and Politics

Getting enough sleep is a most important thing -- along with staying awake during the day. Did you know that how you sleep can also impact your health in various ways? Here are eight common sleeping positions and what they do to your body.

Along with our linkage to how sleep postures mimic, reveal and underline political realities.

1. On Your Back, Arms at Sides

Sleeping on your back with your arms at your side is generally considered to be the best sleeping position for spine health and it’s good for your neck, too, as long as you don’t use too many pillows. That said, back sleepers tend to snore more than those in any other position and sleep apnea is strongly associated with sleeping on the back.

Political aspect: Gun control advocates keep their arms away from firearms, are helpless to fight off nightmares and night invasions. Those advocating fealty to the 2nd amendment can sleep well, arms at sides. And wake. Alive. N.B.: How you view Israel’s needs for self-defense plays into this position, remember.

2. On Your Back, Arms Up

This so-called “starfish” position is also good for the back. Whether you have your arms up around your pillow or not, sleeping on your back may also help to prevent facial wrinkles and skin breakouts. However, like the arms-down back sleeping position, this one can also result in snoring and problems with acid reflux. Plus, having your arms up can put pressure on nerves in your shoulders, leading to pain.

Political extrapolation: Proponents of Hillary will often be found with their arms up, on their backs. Bernie Sanders, repping a substantial weapons-toting state, Vermont, will be safer and not assume this position, since they are thoughtfully armed to the teeth. Sanders respects his base and goes for the jugular in other areas. And assault weapons, which his people are not buying in as great a number. O’Malley people are: Somewhere on the fence, neither all arms up, nor all backs against the wall.

3. Face Down

Sleeping on your stomach can improve digestion, but unless you’ve developed a way to breathe through your pillow, it most likely leads to you tilting your face in one direction or the other. This can put a lot of strain on the neck. Sleeping face down can also cause back pain, as the curve of the spine is not supported.

Political view: Those who have left the campaign scene--it being too populated for less wildly popular candidates to stay the course -- now can be found face down, numbers down, without a paddle or even a “My Pillow” meme. Some of the “undercard” debate crowd may follow Graham -- Pataki, Huckabee, even Kasich -- to assume the position any time soon.

4. Fetal Position

Sleeping all curled up into a ball with your knees drawn up and your chin tilted down might be comfortable but it’s probably one of the worst sleeping positions to consider as it can do a number on your back and neck.

The extreme curl of the fetal position can also restrict deep breathing. That considered, sleeping like a fetus can have you sleeping like a baby if you typically have problems with snoring or if you’re pregnant.

Political take: This is where po’Je-sans-exclamation-point! may be found, often as not. Of sainted memory, Lincoln Chafee, who flamed out in a gleep-eating grin very early on. (RIP -- Literally.) Outgoing hybrid Obama secretly collapses into this pose when confronted with unsigned and daily flouted Iranian “agreements,” uncontrolled rampaging ISIS’es, his inability to articulate “Islamic terrorism” or the acronym “ISIS,” and how to cement a tattered nonexistent legacy comprised of legislative shmattas nobody, even his supporters, favor.

5. On Side, Arms at Sides

When you’re sleeping on your side with both arms down, the spine is best supported in its natural curve. This can definitely help reduce back and neck pain while also reducing sleep apnea. The downside? Sleeping on the side can contribute to skin aging due to gravity, meaning facial wrinkles and sagging breasts.

Political position: A cautious take -- inoffensive and defensive at once. One arm is disabled under the body, of course, while the other, in repose but ready, can be called into action, should the cat leap onto the coverlets, or the neighbor’s kid lob a basketball through the bedroom window in a frenzied seizure of late-night practice to achieve eventual immortal Kobe-Bryant status.

6. On Side, Arms Out

This position has many of the same benefits of sleeping on your side with your arms straight down. However, any side sleeping can cause shoulder and arm pain due to restricted blood flow and pressure on the nerves, which may be exacerbated by having your arms out in front of you.

Politicking: Current unconscious posture of Rand Paul, Chris Christie, feisty Carly Fiorina and Rick Santorum. And Dr. Ben Carson. Like me! Love me! Contribute to me! Support me!

7. On the Right Side

If you’re a side-sleeper, which side you sleep on also makes a difference. Sleeping on the right side can worsen heartburn while sleeping on the left side can put strain on internal organs like the liver, lungs, and stomach (while minimizing acid reflux). For pregnant sleepers, doctors typically advise sleeping on the left side, since this can improve circulation to the fetus.

Political memes: Unsure where or on which side Donald Trump lies. Definitively: Hillary and Sanders reside nowhere at night [or day] on their right. Opinions vary, but some pundits say front-running Dems have dismissed their right sides entirely, and maybe even their centers, and hit out on the campaign trails and debate stage fights only on the far, far left. Both senators Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz score healthily and unequivocally on this side of the rest chamber and debate stage.

8. Pillow-Supplemented

Choosing a proper sleeping position is important but regardless of which sleeping position you prefer, it’s highly likely that you can get a better night’s rest with less pain in the morning by supplementing your body with a pillow.

Back sleepers can put a small pillow under the arch of their spine, side sleepers can place a pillow between their knees, and stomach sleepers can place a pillow under their hips to support the joints and allow for full, pain-free relaxation.                                

Political net-net: Live clean, vote right. Sleep cool. Of all the sleep positions noted, which affords best night’s rest without pain and consequences? Which affords best daytime action readiness?

Culling this bedtime story info, remember that voting for the scathingly wrong individual in the consistently indebted and corrupt party will cause you to twist and writhe into each of these positions serially, obviating any natural or restful night’s sleep in any situation. Sleep right: Vote right. And remember, Houseketeers: Sleep early and often.