Islamism: Obadiah Hakeswill with a Koran

The Muslim Student Association touts an "Islamic Awareness Week" to promote Islam on American campuses, and even touts a "Wear a Hijab Day" for women.  Political correctness therefore allows the MSA to promote the equivalent of a "Wear Chains and Shackles Day" for black people.

We can counteract the MSA's propaganda by designating September as Islamist Awareness Month, because September reflects many of militant Islam's "contributions" to human history.  First it is useful to visualize Islam, as practiced in much of Central Asia and the Middle East, as well as enclaves in Europe and the United States, as "Obadiah Hakeswill with a Koran."

"A liar, a thief, a rapist, and a murderer.  That's not a man.  Take it away."  This is one of Sean Bean's best lines as Bernard Cornwell's protagonist, Richard Sharpe, or "Sharpie," as pronounced by Pete Postlethwaite, who plays the liar, thief, rapist, and murderer Obadiah Hakeswill in the television show Sharpe.  One of Hakeswill's favorite lines in Cornwell's books is "It says so in the scriptures."  Hakeswill uses this phrase to justify lying, theft, rape, and murder.

  • "I ain't ever cheated a soul in my life, sir, not unless they deserved it, in which case they gets it right and proper, sir, like it says in the scriptures."
  • "If the King wanted you to have a conversation I'd have told you so. Says so in the scriptures. Give me your firelock, Sharpie. Quick now!"  Hakeswill's agenda is to remove the flint from Sharpe's musket, and then get him flogged for having not maintained his weapon properly.
  • Hakeswill on the division of ill-gotten gains: "Half for me, and you leprous toads get to share the other half. Equally. … Equally. But I gets one half, like it says in the scriptures."
  • "And a sergeant's widow doesn't get rogered by a stinking bit of dirt like you. It ain't right. Ain't natural. It's beneath her station, Sharpie, and it can't be allowed. Says so in the scriptures." Hakeswill's plan is actually to sell the widow in question to a vicious pimp.

Hakeswill has the misfortune to try this line on a Scottish Presbyterian, Colonel Hector McCandless, who knows the Bible from one end to the other, but Hakeswill deals with this problem by murdering his superior officer.  The difference between Hakeswill and Islamists who lie (taqiyya), steal, rape, and murder while citing their scriptures is that Hakeswill is a fictional character.

Rape a Child for Allah

Here, for example, is how Islamists justify child rape.  It says so in their scriptures!

"In the moments before he raped the 12-year-old girl, the Islamic State fighter took the time to explain that what he was about to do was not a sin. Because the preteen girl practiced a religion other than Islam, the Quran not only gave him the right to rape her – it condoned and encouraged it, he insisted."

The reference adds that the Islamist spoke to his invisible friend Allah before and after the deed, much as Obadiah Hakeswill spoke to his mother or, more precisely, a stolen picture of another man's wife inside his shako.  "[W]e shall have her stripped so that she shall be naked. Obadiah has to have his scratching, Mother. ... I has to have something, Mother, or else I'll burst waiting for to do Sharpie's whore."  To which he adds about his intention to rape another soldier's wife, "You do want me to be happy, don't you, Mother?"

Hakeswill is fictional, but the Islamist "bound her hands and gagged her. Then he knelt beside the bed and prostrated himself in prayer before getting on top of her. When it was over, he knelt to pray again, bookending the rape with acts of religious devotion."  This is simply the real-world version of Obadiah Hakeswell muttering into his hat, "You do want me to be happy, don't you, Mother?"  This is, of course, far from an isolated incident.

Islamism: License to Rape

Here is what an Islamist clergyman says about his scriptures, the Unholy Koran.  "If you take out uncovered meat and place it outside on the street, or in the garden or in the park, or in the backyard without a cover, and the cats come and eat it … whose fault is it – the cats or the uncovered meat? The uncovered meat is the problem. If she was in her room, in her home, in her hijab (veil), no problem would have occurred."  Another Islamist told his teenage victim that raping her was "his prayer to God."

The truth is that the founder of this depraved ideology set the example himself, and the following joke (actually propaganda packaged as such) is worth circulation.  "What's the difference between Hitler and Mohammad?  Hitler never raped a nine-year-old girl."  The fact that an Islamist rape epidemic is sweeping Europe comes as no surprise because, when it comes to lying to, stealing from, raping, and murdering infidels, it really does say so in their scriptures.

Now let's take a look at what this ideology – and an ideology is neither a race nor a religion – has contributed to the world during the month of September.

September: Islamism Awareness Month

While Americans are most familiar with the 9/11 terrorist attacks, Islamist awareness actually begins on September 2 with the Battle of Omdurman (1898), during which Winston Churchill joined the charge of the Twenty-First Lancers.  This unit suffered the most heavily of the Anglo-Egyptian participants and lost a quarter of its men, killed or wounded, in exchange for three Victoria Crosses.  The Islamists, however, suffered far more horrific casualties from breech-loading artillery and Maxim machine guns, which shows what happens when pre-medieval barbarism meets Western military science.  The Islamists in question were, by the way, followers of the self-proclaimed Mahdi, who claimed to commune with Mohammad the way Obadiah Hakeswill talked with his mother.  Here is a public-domain picture of the Twenty-First (Churchill is in there somewhere) taking out the Middle East's trash.

On September 11, of course, the Islamists demonstrated very clearly how people who cannot build airplanes or skyscrapers are capable of flying airplanes into skyscrapers to murder thousands of innocent people.  This, along with wholesale destruction of priceless antiquities in the Middle East and Central Asia, underscores this ideology's ability to contribute to human society.

We finally come to September 12, the anniversary of the Battle of Vienna (1683).  An Islamist horde had surrounded the Golden Apple, as the city is called in Day of the Siege.  The movie includes everything including threats to behead infidels, invade Rome, and turn churches into mosques, along with demands that subjugated infidels (dhimmis) pay jizya (tribute) and cries of "Allah akbar!"  Again, however, Islamist fanaticism comes up short against Western military science.  (These scenes are actually from several different movies that involve Polish Winged Hussars.)  This leaves us with some excellent jokes about the high water mark of Islamism's jihad against Civilization.

Q: How do you know the Polish Cavalry has been in your camp?

A: Your Janissaries are all dead, and your artillery, flags, and coffee are missing.  (There is a story to the effect that the crescent pastry, modeled after the captured Turkish battle standards, originated in Vienna, along with the world's first coffee shop that put the Turks' coffee to good use.)

Q: Why, despite the Poles' reputation for horsemanship, can the slowest Turkish Spahi ride faster than the fastest Winged Hussar?

A: The ones that couldn't are dead.

The Ottoman court jester saw that the Sultan was in a bad mood and tried to cheer him up with a joke about the enemy. "How many Poles does it take..." whereupon the Sultan drew his scimitar and cut off the jester's head.  "They had as many as they needed, that's for sure!"  The new jester began, "Did you hear the one about the Polish Cavalry?" whereupon the Sultan said, "Yes," and beheaded him as well.

Q: What two things do you need to avoid losing a single man to Jan Sobieski's army?

A: Fast horses and a good head start, as actually practiced by the Crimean Horde during the battle.  The Tartars ran away without striking a blow, and Day of the Siege depicts Grand Vizier Kara Mustafa practically begging them to stand and fight.  The Khan purportedly told the Grand Vizier, "You told us we were here to rape helpless women and massacre prisoners, not fight people who carry fifteen-foot lances and refer to their swords as their wives!"

The Turks did, in fact, slaughter 30,000 Christian hostages when they realized they were about to lose the battle.  Meanwhile, a line like "I am Sir Kowalski, and this," (the Pole indicates his szabla, the finest cutting weapon in Europe) "is Lady Kowalski" is almost as obligatory in a Henryk Sienkiewicz novel as "Bond; James Bond" and "shaken, not stirred" is in any James Bond movie.

This suggests that we should show proper respect for Islamism by declaring September 12 Jan Sobieski Day, noting that the King of Poland almost certainly saved civilized Europe from Koran-sanctioned deception, robbery, rape, and murder.  Remember that when an Islamist says his religion entitles him to lie, steal, rape, and kill, it really does say so in his scriptures.

William A. Levinson is the author of several books on business management including content on organizational psychology, as well as manufacturing productivity and quality.