On Deportation: A Modest Proposal

Liberals and the MSM constantly tell us that illegals are good for the country, that they are hardworking and pay their own way.

As a result, we're told that it would be wrong to deport them.

Given that "reality," even staunch conservatives should agree with the following: let's let any illegal who works hard and pays his own way stay.

If illegals are all that Democrats say they are, illegals will never cross the path of any government organization and won't burden honest Americans financially.

In light of that, let's consider the following deportation solution: any illegal who costs the U.S. money and who interacts with a branch of government – local, state, or federal – will be immediately deported.

With that policy, only illegals who are costing honest Americans money and who interact with the government need live in fear of deportation.  None of the hardworking, pay-their-own-way illegals will ever lose a night's sleep over the possibility of being ejected from this land they love so much.

Obviously, if liberals actually believe what they say about illegals, they'll embrace this proposal as a wonderful compromise.

Of course, some small segments of the illegal community, as described by liberals, would be at risk.

An illegal who drives up medical costs for Americans by getting free care at hospitals would get his immediate problem treated but then would find himself back in his home country's medical care system.

Of course, if a private charity paid the medical bills, then the illegal would be safe.  Given the great love liberals have for illegals, it's clear that liberals would be glad to donate their own money – not the money earned by others and collected as taxes – to pay for the health care of illegals.  But since we're told that free medical care for illegals doesn't impact the health care costs of honest citizens – many of whom are legal immigrants – there can't be many illegals who will fall into this situation, and there wouldn't be a need for much charity on the part of wealthy liberals to keep that tiny group in the U.S.

Those illegals who commit crimes would also find themselves back in the penal systems of their home countries.  Even if the U.S. had to subsidize the cost of imprisoning these folks back in wherever they came from, it would be cheaper than incarcerating them here and would have the added benefit of discouraging crimes by illegals who think U.S. prisons are resorts compared to what they face back home.  Once again, since we're told that few, if any, illegals commit crimes, only a tiny fraction of the millions of illegals in this country would be impacted by this particular exception.

Those illegals whose children receive a free education at the expense of hardworking Americans would of course be immediately deported, since public schools are paid for by tax dollars.  However, since the vast majority of illegals, we are told, are hardworking and pay their own way, they must either attend private schools – undoubtedly funded by scholarships provided by wealthy liberals – or homeschool.  Clearly, any illegal who competed with honest Americans for limited low-cost in-state college tuition couldn't be counted among those who pay their own way, since he, or his parents, is not paying the taxes that support those low tuitions. 

On the plus side, liberals' desire to limit the ejection of illegals would cause liberals to support minimal government interaction with both private schools and homeschoolers, lest some "self-supporting" illegals end up being accidentally deported.  Of course, given that liberals tell us that illegals are not a major financial impact on our school systems – and therefore don't contribute to the problems in black American school districts, which are, according to liberals, underfunded – few illegals will be impacted by this limitation on allowing illegals to stay.

All those illegals who drive down wages for unskilled workers, which is racist since it mostly impacts blacks who suffer from a lack of skills due to the horrible inner-city public schools, would be safe, since they don't interact with the government.

That means that the fat-cat liberals would not have to pay more for their arugula, since cheap illegal labor could be used to harvest it.  Companies that want to exploit workers by driving down wages by using illegals would also be safe.  The only victims would be the honest business owners who pay a fair day's wages for a fair day's work, but who cares about them, after all?  They don't contribute much to political candidates.

Sure, blacks would suffer, but we all know that the Democrats, who founded the KKK, view blacks as a voting resource, not as real people who should be given the tools to succeed. 

Looking at how black lives have only gotten worse in Democrat-run cities like Chicago and Detroit over the last 60 years, it's clear that when push comes to shove, sticking it to blacks to advance the Democrat agenda is in the Democrats' DNA.  How else can we explain that Democrats support abortion, which targets blacks; that Democrats oppose school choice, which would let inner-city blacks get a decent education; and that Democrats oppose enterprise zones, which would bring jobs into the inner city?

Of course, sacrificing black opportunities to provide cheap labor for liberals will be a major stumbling block for conservatives who have consistently supported racial equality and condemned racism, but we need to understand, as the media keeps telling us, that conservatives have to compromise in order for the country to function.  Perhaps McConnell and Boehner can put a school vouchers program into the deportation law so that at least the next generation of blacks will be able to get a decent education, thereby mollifying conservatives.

What matters in the end to the people who favor illegal immigration is that companies that donate a lot to the Democrats and the RINOs would be happy because labor would be cheap, the rich liberals would be happy because they'd get their gardeners, and the politicians who get the illegal vote would be happy.  Who could ask for more?

Given that this proposal meets all the stated needs of liberals and fully accepts their beliefs about illegals, it's clearly time for conservatives to reach across the aisle, emulating President Obama, and agree that those illegals who aren't:

  • stealing opportunities from American children by getting taxpayer-funded educations,
  • forcing hardworking American families into choosing between health care and paying rising energy bills by getting free health care, or
  • committing crimes and endangering honest Americans

should be allowed to stay in the country they so clearly love.

There's absolutely nothing in this policy for liberals to object to, so it should enjoy bipartisan support.  With the illegal immigration issue out of the way, thereby torpedoing Trump, we can move on to the next liberal priority: assessing whether or not Planned Parenthood is undercharging for baby parts.

You can read more of tom's rants at his blog, Conversations about the obvious, and feel free to follow him on Twitter.