Common Sense Sex Advice from Dr. Ruth Deemed Controversial

"Dr. Ruth" Westheimer, the petite, blunt talking, accented, senior citizen sex therapist known for frankly speaking about sex is giving some weak-kneed so-called feminists the vapors by implying that women should take responsibility for their actions. Oh dear!

Interviewed on a radio show, Westheimer stated:

According to the 86-year-old doctor during the interview, she said once two people are “aroused” and “in bed together,” the time for declining the sexual offer or changing one’s mind has passed:

"I know it’s controversial, but for your program, I’m going to stand up and be counted and, like I do in the book, be very honest. I am very worried about college campuses saying that a woman and a man or two men or two women, but I talk right now about woman and man, can be in bed together, Diane, and at one time, naked, and at one time, he or she — most of the time they think she can say, I changed my mind. No such thing is possible."

She then inaccurately quoted a few Jewish sources to back up her views.  

She reinforced her advice in a couple of tweets:

She later elaborated to a Washington Post interviewer Nora Krug


Questions have been raised about your comments this week on the Diane Rehm Show about when it’s appropriate for a woman to say no to a man. Can you elaborate?

Loud and clear: In the Jewish tradition, it says that if that part of the male anatomy is aroused, the brain flies out of the head. It also says a man doesn’t have enough blood for two heads. What does it mean? If a man and a woman -- or two men and two women -- are naked in bed together, there is no way that, in the middle, he or she can say, “I changed my mind” and leave. I think people have to take the responsibility that if they are in bed together, they are willing to have some kind of sexual experience. She has no business in bed with him, and he has no business in bed with her if they don’t have an understanding that they will have sex.

Well yeah, that seems reasonable: if two adults (both 18+) willingly take off their clothes and are in bed together, neither can later reasonably say, "Oh, I changed my mind." If the other party doesn't respond, "Oh, okay", which is rather unlikely, then the too late dissenter cannot later shriek "rape." 

But what do I know? Apparently asking adults to plan ahead and to take responsibility for their actions is soooooo mid-20th century.

An example:. 

And men are of course more than their man parts and man hormones.

Boner Vivant ‏@Doug_Tilley

Just a reminder that men should find that Dr. Ruth comment revolting as well. We are not animals.

Abdicating responsibility by labeling any mid or post sex regrets as rape, trivializes real rape victims, where the sex is without consent, imposed by weapon and/or brute strength. These victims are more likely to be non-students. That's right, not students partying a little too heartily but working class people. This whiff of snobbishness from so called feminists is really unattractive. 

Accepting responsibility is a sign of maturity; not thinking ahead and/or changing one's mind at a most inopportune time indicates lack of maturity.  Is that what feminists want for women -- perpetual frozen in time girliness? That's not very flattering to females. 

As I discovered last month writing about the collapse of the Rolling Stone college rape culture article

A few months ago Lynn Langdon, also of the Bureau of Justice Statistics, published "Rape and Sexual Assault Among College Age-Females-1995-2013" which further questioned the accepted rape narrative as expounded by Erdely and Sullivan. According to its findings, female students between the ages of 18-24 were significantly less likely to be raped than their non-student peers. While there were some similarities, student and non-student victims had other differences.  


  • The rate of rape and sexual assault was 1.2 times higher for nonstudents (7.6 per 1,000)  than for students (6.1 per 1,
  • For both college students and nonstudents, the offender was known to the victim in about 80% of rape and sexual assault victimizations
  • Most (51%) student rape and sexual assault victimizations occurred while the victim was pursuing leisure activities away from home, compared to nonstudents who were engaged in other activities at home (50%) when the victimization occurred.

So, ladies and gentlemen, a few simple rules of advice from Dr. Ruth: Safety first and think before you act so

1) Don't get into bed with someone--especially with no clothes on--if you don't intend to have sex.

2) Look both ways before you cross the street and cross with the light.