Which Democrat could run against Hillary Clinton?

Given the latest to come out about Mrs. Clinton's brazen disregard for the law, (the secret email server hidden behind the false wall in the maid's quarters of Mrs. Clinton's sensible Chappaqua home, where she administered affairs of state for America), thought has been turning to who might challenge her in the Democratic primary. She has almost none currently. Given all the money she is capable of raising, and her frontrunner status, challengers figure that taking her out is akin to shooting a proton torpedo into a small three foot by three foot exhaust port while skimming at 1000 MPH in a narrow trench teaming with turrets while pursued by Darth Vader's TIE Advanced.

But I prefer to view Mrs. Clinton as a thick, giant redwood tree that has filled with beetles that have rotted it to the core. It looks impenetrable from the outside, but all it needs is one mighty gust of wind to send it toppling.

Metaphors aside, let's look at some of the least unlikely challengers she might face:

Elizabeth Warren: Everyone is wondering why Elizabeth Warren is not running. I'm not. You have to understand her personality. She started as a bankruptcy law professor at Harvard Law School. Politics aside, she was known by students to be a soft spoken, mild mannered professor, in other words, unaggressive. She lied about her ethnicity (she's about as Native American as I am Mexican American), but that's okay, liberals don't think the rules apply to them. Warren served on a number of government panels until eventually she was named special assistant to the president and pushed for the creation of the so-called Consumer Protection Bureau. She didn't have to run or campaign for any of these jobs. No stress.

But then she ran for Senate against Scott Brown. Brown was an incumbent, but this is Massachusetts we are talking about. Joseph Stalin's corpse could get 45% of the vote in Massachusetts. Martha Coakley lost against Scott Brown because she couldn't radiate the pure evil of a statist Democrat; she had the intent, but voters didn't think she was capable of inflicting the pernicious leftist malice that they very much wanted inflicted on themselves. So when Warren ran against Scott Brown it wasn't such a hassle; she had the national Democrats behind her raising big money, and she was running in one of the most leftists of states.

What I'm trying to say is that Warren has always let herself flow downstream like a leaf in a gutter stream, taking the path of least resistance. She's never demonstrated the guts to fight an uphill battle, like running against a semi-incumbent opponent like Hillary who can command hundreds of millions of dollars, as well a small army of smear operatives, Vince Foster's assassins, transgendered ninja, Huma Abedin and Anthony Weiner, the nine Nazgul,  all the power of the Sith, and so on.  She won't run unless Hillary is clearly more wounded than she is now.

Vice President Joseph Biden: Normally, a vice president would be in a strong position to run for president, unless he's a laughingstock. Some of his more memorable quotes:

" You cannot go to a 7-11 or a Dunkin' Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent.... I'm not joking.

"A man I'm proud to call my friend. A man who will be the next President of the United States -- Barack America!"

Also in reference to President Obama: "I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that's a storybook, man."

He's not a serious contender. Also, he is so old he makes Hillary look young.

Bernie Sanders: Unaffectionally known (by me) as "The Senator from Ben & Jerry's". Extremely far-left, even running as a Democrat, but shouldn't be a problem with the media or the Democratic electorate. The Socialist Senator from Vermont looks like a neglected exhibit at the Museum of Natural History from the Jurassic period. He's 75 years old but looks at least ten years older. When he dies he has requested his body be hollowed out, stuffed with cotton and massive amounts of formaldehyde, and displayed in a glass box in the Kremlin. Not a serious contender either.

Former senator Jim Webb of Virginia: Jim Webb was Secretary of the Navy for almost a year, and was a Senator for six whole years, ending in 2013, which I guess makes him more experienced than Barack Obama was when he was elected. I read his Wikipedia page twice but still can't seem to find out what, if anything, he accomplished in the Senate. (Apart from the loony, and still unexplained, handgun incident) I'm not sure why he would run for president except that his name has been bandied about. Perhaps because he's a non-offensive white guy from a Southern State. If you're a Democrat from a Southern State you can be presented as a "moderate", even if you're not. There's no clear sense that he's running.

Maryland Governor Martin O’Malley: He's the only actually competing contender so far. Former governor of Maryland. He was a big taxer, a big spender, and pushed homosexual marriage and in-state tuition for illegal aliens. He sounds like he was for everyone except the taxpayer. What's not to like? Lead Maryland so capably that they elected a Republican after he left. Has good hair.

The only downside: he's considered kind of a lightweight. But he's nonoffensive. Accused of some petty corruption, but so far slippery enough not to be connected to any major crimes of passion or greed so common among Democrats. No email servers hidden behind the wall of his kitchen pantry. No spouse accused of rape. Never been accused of drowning a non-wife female in the river. Never got kicked out of Harvard for cheating. Never was a senior member of the KKK from West Virginia. As of now, primary voters may gravitate to him because he can put sentences together, he has good hair, and he's not Hillary.

So as of now O'Malley is the only serious candidate. Perhaps if there's more blood in the water other predatory Democratic carnivores will take up the scent. Remember that there are old Democrats and bold Democrats, but no old, bold Democrats.

Pedro Gonzales is the editor of Newsmachete.com, the conservative news site.

Given the latest to come out about Mrs. Clinton's brazen disregard for the law, (the secret email server hidden behind the false wall in the maid's quarters of Mrs. Clinton's sensible Chappaqua home, where she administered affairs of state for America), thought has been turning to who might challenge her in the Democratic primary. She has almost none currently. Given all the money she is capable of raising, and her frontrunner status, challengers figure that taking her out is akin to shooting a proton torpedo into a small three foot by three foot exhaust port while skimming at 1000 MPH in a narrow trench teaming with turrets while pursued by Darth Vader's TIE Advanced.

But I prefer to view Mrs. Clinton as a thick, giant redwood tree that has filled with beetles that have rotted it to the core. It looks impenetrable from the outside, but all it needs is one mighty gust of wind to send it toppling.

Metaphors aside, let's look at some of the least unlikely challengers she might face:

Elizabeth Warren: Everyone is wondering why Elizabeth Warren is not running. I'm not. You have to understand her personality. She started as a bankruptcy law professor at Harvard Law School. Politics aside, she was known by students to be a soft spoken, mild mannered professor, in other words, unaggressive. She lied about her ethnicity (she's about as Native American as I am Mexican American), but that's okay, liberals don't think the rules apply to them. Warren served on a number of government panels until eventually she was named special assistant to the president and pushed for the creation of the so-called Consumer Protection Bureau. She didn't have to run or campaign for any of these jobs. No stress.

But then she ran for Senate against Scott Brown. Brown was an incumbent, but this is Massachusetts we are talking about. Joseph Stalin's corpse could get 45% of the vote in Massachusetts. Martha Coakley lost against Scott Brown because she couldn't radiate the pure evil of a statist Democrat; she had the intent, but voters didn't think she was capable of inflicting the pernicious leftist malice that they very much wanted inflicted on themselves. So when Warren ran against Scott Brown it wasn't such a hassle; she had the national Democrats behind her raising big money, and she was running in one of the most leftists of states.

What I'm trying to say is that Warren has always let herself flow downstream like a leaf in a gutter stream, taking the path of least resistance. She's never demonstrated the guts to fight an uphill battle, like running against a semi-incumbent opponent like Hillary who can command hundreds of millions of dollars, as well a small army of smear operatives, Vince Foster's assassins, transgendered ninja, Huma Abedin and Anthony Weiner, the nine Nazgul,  all the power of the Sith, and so on.  She won't run unless Hillary is clearly more wounded than she is now.

Vice President Joseph Biden: Normally, a vice president would be in a strong position to run for president, unless he's a laughingstock. Some of his more memorable quotes:

" You cannot go to a 7-11 or a Dunkin' Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent.... I'm not joking.

"A man I'm proud to call my friend. A man who will be the next President of the United States -- Barack America!"

Also in reference to President Obama: "I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that's a storybook, man."

He's not a serious contender. Also, he is so old he makes Hillary look young.

Bernie Sanders: Unaffectionally known (by me) as "The Senator from Ben & Jerry's". Extremely far-left, even running as a Democrat, but shouldn't be a problem with the media or the Democratic electorate. The Socialist Senator from Vermont looks like a neglected exhibit at the Museum of Natural History from the Jurassic period. He's 75 years old but looks at least ten years older. When he dies he has requested his body be hollowed out, stuffed with cotton and massive amounts of formaldehyde, and displayed in a glass box in the Kremlin. Not a serious contender either.

Former senator Jim Webb of Virginia: Jim Webb was Secretary of the Navy for almost a year, and was a Senator for six whole years, ending in 2013, which I guess makes him more experienced than Barack Obama was when he was elected. I read his Wikipedia page twice but still can't seem to find out what, if anything, he accomplished in the Senate. (Apart from the loony, and still unexplained, handgun incident) I'm not sure why he would run for president except that his name has been bandied about. Perhaps because he's a non-offensive white guy from a Southern State. If you're a Democrat from a Southern State you can be presented as a "moderate", even if you're not. There's no clear sense that he's running.

Maryland Governor Martin O’Malley: He's the only actually competing contender so far. Former governor of Maryland. He was a big taxer, a big spender, and pushed homosexual marriage and in-state tuition for illegal aliens. He sounds like he was for everyone except the taxpayer. What's not to like? Lead Maryland so capably that they elected a Republican after he left. Has good hair.

The only downside: he's considered kind of a lightweight. But he's nonoffensive. Accused of some petty corruption, but so far slippery enough not to be connected to any major crimes of passion or greed so common among Democrats. No email servers hidden behind the wall of his kitchen pantry. No spouse accused of rape. Never been accused of drowning a non-wife female in the river. Never got kicked out of Harvard for cheating. Never was a senior member of the KKK from West Virginia. As of now, primary voters may gravitate to him because he can put sentences together, he has good hair, and he's not Hillary.

So as of now O'Malley is the only serious candidate. Perhaps if there's more blood in the water other predatory Democratic carnivores will take up the scent. Remember that there are old Democrats and bold Democrats, but no old, bold Democrats.

Pedro Gonzales is the editor of Newsmachete.com, the conservative news site.