Obama Struggles to Name the Nazis

It is a year after December 7, 1941.  Our Pacific fleet was almost destroyed in the Pearl Harbor attack, and by now, Hitler’s tanks have knocked over Poland, Czechoslovakia, Belgium, the Netherlands, France, and all the rest, including a good chunk of Russia.  The Japanese war machine kills Chinese, Filipinos, and Caucasians.  In a racial “purification” campaign, Hitler also murders millions of people – men, women and children, no matter how innocent and harmless.  The Nazis import Arab troops to help with the killing.

Still, our politicians and media don’t get it.  They go pretzel-shaped whenever the word “Nazis” come up.

Our president is a progressive man of color, beloved by millions of guilt-stricken liberals, who know in their bones that we’ve sinned against blacks, Hispanics, Native Americans, women, lesbians, gays, and transsexuals.  Not to mention everybody else in the world, like the Germans, who were unfairly defeated in WWI.  

Our messianic leader is constantly apologizing for what we’ve done since 1776.  None of the media-controlled voters remember an incident at Pearl Harbor, not to mention all the other assaults, like the Rape of Nanking.  Americans can’t figure out why those Nazis and Japanese keep attacking the United States, but the media are only focused on some celebrity's hindquarters.  They attack those who mention anything else.  The word “Nazi” is taboo.  You’re a racist if you say it.

Interviewer: Thank you, Mr. President, for letting me ask you questions.  I mean, a white guy like me…

President: I am the president of all the people.

Interviewer: [Hugging the floor.] Yes sir, yes sir, and we ‘preciate it!

President give his million-dollar smile.  Gives a fist bump.  “You all right, brother.”

Interviewer: Now about Pearl Harbor…

President: [Sharply.] Pearl what?

I: The sinking of our Pacific fleet in Hawaii...um, I just wanted to ask you…

P: Oh, yes, that.  The Pentagon classified it as a work accident.

I: And the Bataan Death March?

P: I would say that any death is regrettable.  The colored people in that part of the world, the Japanese, rebelled against our colonial occupation of the Philippines.  America has no business occupying colored people in that part of the world.  We need to help the oppressed at home.

I: Yes, sir, sure ‘nuff. But about the Bataan Death March… .

Presidential spokesperson: Next question.

I: Mr. President, people are concerned that your administration isn’t sounding a clear alarm about the march of fascist and Nazi armies.

P: “Remember that during the Crusades and the Inquisition, people committed terrible deeds in the name of Christ.  In our home country, slavery and Jim Crow all too often was justified in the name of Christ.”

I: Yes, sir.  But what will you do about the worst terrorist killers on earth, the Nazi SS?

P: I think we will redouble ... the vigilance and determination on the part of our global coalition to, uh, make sure that they are degraded and ultimately defeated.  It also just indicates the degree to which whatever ideology they're operating off of, it's bankrupt.

I: So you think the Nazi SS killers will just stop on their own?

P: There’s no American military solution to the larger crisis in Germany. … The only lasting solution is reconciliation among Europe’s ethnic communities. Ninety-nine point nine percent of Mr. Hitler’s followers  love peace.  You can’t accuse a whole nation by a few extremists.”

I: Thank you, Mr. President.  [Bows very deep and backs out of the room.]

It is a year after December 7, 1941.  Our Pacific fleet was almost destroyed in the Pearl Harbor attack, and by now, Hitler’s tanks have knocked over Poland, Czechoslovakia, Belgium, the Netherlands, France, and all the rest, including a good chunk of Russia.  The Japanese war machine kills Chinese, Filipinos, and Caucasians.  In a racial “purification” campaign, Hitler also murders millions of people – men, women and children, no matter how innocent and harmless.  The Nazis import Arab troops to help with the killing.

Still, our politicians and media don’t get it.  They go pretzel-shaped whenever the word “Nazis” come up.

Our president is a progressive man of color, beloved by millions of guilt-stricken liberals, who know in their bones that we’ve sinned against blacks, Hispanics, Native Americans, women, lesbians, gays, and transsexuals.  Not to mention everybody else in the world, like the Germans, who were unfairly defeated in WWI.  

Our messianic leader is constantly apologizing for what we’ve done since 1776.  None of the media-controlled voters remember an incident at Pearl Harbor, not to mention all the other assaults, like the Rape of Nanking.  Americans can’t figure out why those Nazis and Japanese keep attacking the United States, but the media are only focused on some celebrity's hindquarters.  They attack those who mention anything else.  The word “Nazi” is taboo.  You’re a racist if you say it.

Interviewer: Thank you, Mr. President, for letting me ask you questions.  I mean, a white guy like me…

President: I am the president of all the people.

Interviewer: [Hugging the floor.] Yes sir, yes sir, and we ‘preciate it!

President give his million-dollar smile.  Gives a fist bump.  “You all right, brother.”

Interviewer: Now about Pearl Harbor…

President: [Sharply.] Pearl what?

I: The sinking of our Pacific fleet in Hawaii...um, I just wanted to ask you…

P: Oh, yes, that.  The Pentagon classified it as a work accident.

I: And the Bataan Death March?

P: I would say that any death is regrettable.  The colored people in that part of the world, the Japanese, rebelled against our colonial occupation of the Philippines.  America has no business occupying colored people in that part of the world.  We need to help the oppressed at home.

I: Yes, sir, sure ‘nuff. But about the Bataan Death March… .

Presidential spokesperson: Next question.

I: Mr. President, people are concerned that your administration isn’t sounding a clear alarm about the march of fascist and Nazi armies.

P: “Remember that during the Crusades and the Inquisition, people committed terrible deeds in the name of Christ.  In our home country, slavery and Jim Crow all too often was justified in the name of Christ.”

I: Yes, sir.  But what will you do about the worst terrorist killers on earth, the Nazi SS?

P: I think we will redouble ... the vigilance and determination on the part of our global coalition to, uh, make sure that they are degraded and ultimately defeated.  It also just indicates the degree to which whatever ideology they're operating off of, it's bankrupt.

I: So you think the Nazi SS killers will just stop on their own?

P: There’s no American military solution to the larger crisis in Germany. … The only lasting solution is reconciliation among Europe’s ethnic communities. Ninety-nine point nine percent of Mr. Hitler’s followers  love peace.  You can’t accuse a whole nation by a few extremists.”

I: Thank you, Mr. President.  [Bows very deep and backs out of the room.]