All Your Wishes Granted

Let me address all my Democrat friends.  Take yourself back to 2007, and imagine you found an old lamp.  You rubbed it, and out came a genie, who said, "I am here to grant you three wishes."

You might remember those dark days of 2007.

  • Our president was a stupid cowboy, George W. Bush.
  • The world hated us.
  • We were stuck in Iraq, a quagmire, losing more troops every month, while Bush insisted on sending in even more troops -- a surge.
  • Osama bin Laden was on the loose, probably in Afghanistan, while Bush nation-built, futilely, in Iraq.
  • Bush held detainees from his so-called War on Terror in Guantánamo Bay, Cuba, instead of giving them a proper day in civilian court.
  • Bush ran a whopping "triple-digit" deficit of $161 billion.
  • And Bush's deficit was due to his two wars and his tax cuts, not spending on people's needs.
  • We continued to be the only developed country without government-run universal health coverage.
  • Gays were not allowed to serve openly in the U..S military, nor were they allowed to marry each other.
  • As of June of 2007, the minimum wage had not been increased in almost a decade.
  • The unemployment rate was getting scary: it rose from 4.4% at the end of 2006 to 5.0% by the end of 2007.
  • The overall economy as measured by real GDP over that same period was near-stagnating at a paltry 2.2% growth rate (4th quarter of 2006 to 4th quarter of 2007).

It was a virtual hell on earth.

The only bright spot, perhaps, was the recent takeover of Congress by Democrats.  The new majority leader of the Senate, Harry Reid, saw the situation clearly.

On Iraq: "This war is lost and the surge is not accomplishing anything."

On President Bush: "The president already has the mark of the American people -- he's the worst president we ever had."

As the genie awaited your command, your only problem would have been to limit yourself to just three wishes.  As a hopeful Democrat, you might have made your request as follows.

"First, I wish for more wishes, and here they are."

  • "Get rid of Bush!  Give us a Democrat president -- someone the world will respect and love.
  • "Get us out of Iraq.
  • "Raise taxes on the rich -- back to the level of the glory days that were the Clinton presidency.
  • "Have government spend more money, lots more money, on human needs, not nation-building.
  • "Let our troops find and kill Osama bin Laden.
  • "We want universal health insurance, and we want it now.
  • "Let gays serve openly in the military and, for goodness sake, act like it's the 21st century and let them marry.
  • "Raise the darn minimum wage, and to a level at least 40% above the stingy Republican level."

And you continue:

"I also wish that we close Gitmo, that deficits fall, that unemployment fall, and the economy grow faster.  But if you grant me all the above wishes, I don't need these wishes.  They will naturally follow."

The genie would smile wryly and say, "That's a lot of wishes.  I count nine altogether.  I don't usually grant more than three, but in your case, I'll make an exception. In fact, how about I throw in an extra?  Not only will your next president be a Democrat, but he will be an African-American, and he will win a Nobel Peace Prize in the first year of his presidency."

How would you, as a Democrat, have felt if a genie had just granted you all those wishes in 2007?  You would have thought it too good to be true.  That was more, way more, than any good Democrat could ask for.

Of course, you know the punch line: every one of those wishes was granted.  Yes, Democrats, you got everything you could ever wish for.  How is that working out for you?

  • Did Gitmo close? Nope. Gitmo has about as many detainees now as it had in 2007. And most of those folks have not gone to trial, military or civilian.
  • Did we stop "nation-building"? Nope -- in fact, that's essentially our new mission statement for Afghanistan. (To be fair, we won't add Libya, Egypt, Tunisia, or Syria to our nation-building list.)
  • Did the deficit shrink? Nope. It went from $160B in 2007 to over $1 trillion in each and every year of Obama's presidency so far. (These latter levels, by the way, were the highest in peacetime U.S. history.)
  • Did unemployment fall? Nope, at least not before it rose to 10% in October 2009. Now it's back to 7.5%. (Strange. Before the minimum wage was increased, and before Democrats wrote budgets for FY 2008 and 2009, it was 4.4%.)
  • Did the economy grow faster? Nope. Since Obama took office, real GDP grew 2.0%. In the last three years: 2.0%. In the latest year: just 1.8%.

Now that Osama is dead and we're out of Iraq, did they stop hating us?  Not according to Tamerlan and Dzhokhar Tsarnaev.  And not according to Pew Research, which found that in the Middle East Obama is less popular than Bush was.  Strangely, a majority in every country outside the U.S. disapproves of our drone strikes, despite the kill lists being personally approved by a Nobel Peace Prize winner.

Oh, one of our ambassadors was killed, in Libya.  That is the first time that has happened since Jimmy Carter was president -- before Chelsea Clinton was born.  Not to worry; our president says "there is no there there."

Record high food stamp (oops, SNAP) rolls.  Record high disability rolls.  Record high debt.  Fewer jobs in our economy now than in that annus horribilis of 2007.  Government-run health insurance is a looming train wreck.

And now we learn that the administration of your dreams has been spying on journalists by secretly gathering phone records, and used the IRS to target its political enemies.

Despite all our wishes coming true.

Randall Hoven can be followed on Twitter or

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