Solving the Democrats' Obama Problem

The worst-kept secret in Washington, D.C. is that Democrats are desperate to find a way to ease Barack Obama out of running for reelection, so Hillary Clinton can receive the nomination so carelessly denied her in 2008.  But how do you convince a failed narcissist to get out of the way so the grown-ups can take back the party?  And how do you keep the most loyal and important voting bloc, blacks, within the tent, while shoving aside the first black president?

On Friday, September 16, Rush Limbaugh said that if the Democratic establishment want to get rid of Obama, they must appeal to his ego and convince him to go on his own.  Rush has read Obama's ego perfectly, and here is roughly how it could be handled.

Hillary Clinton, loyal Democrat that she is, has remained totally silent in public over her boss's floundering.  But behind the scenes, she is or soon will be scrambling from one nation's capital to another, whispering in the ears of world leaders.  Late in the winter, her hard work pays off handsomely. 

Moon Rescue!

In early March, United Nations Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon delivers a passionate address focusing on a new problem facing our world: collapsing currencies.  In its wake, the traditional problems of poverty, disease, civil strife, unemployment, and social justice have gotten worse.  To deal with these massive problems, in coordination with leaders of 30 major countries, he announces the establishment of a worldwide organizing and coordinating institutional body to manage the affairs of the world's leading economies.  To the contemporary American liberal mindset, such an organization would have great appeal, as a way of keeping in check the selfish America of which they are so ashamed.  To them, it would enjoy legitimacy higher than the U.N., the World Bank, the International Monetary Fund, and even the National Football League.  It would direct programs requiring resources and responses of the world's richest countries.  They must pay their fair share.  (Sound familiar?)

In the biggest surprise of the century, Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon nominates President Barack Obama to lead this organization.  He sees Barack Obama as the perfect (and indeed, the only) choice to be the first prime minister of the World Social Order Federation, which will formally begin operation in February 2013. 

Shortly after this speech by the U.N. leader, Barack Obama and his Teleprompter announce to the country that solely because of the awesome responsibility thrust upon him, he most regretfully has decided not run for reelection as president of the United States.  In the same speech, Barack and his Teleprompter announce his endorsement of...drum roll, please...Hillary Clinton to succeed him as president. 

(Vice President Joe Biden, true to his style, responds, "This is a big f'in' deal!")

As the head of this new governing body, Barack Obama will have an unlimited budget, unlimited authority, and no Congress to thwart his plans.  His term of office is indefinite.  He will have to answer to no one.  (And the billion dollars in his campaign chest -- it is all his!)

Whew!  Talk about "king of the world"!

For the first time in her life, Michelle Obama is truly proud of her world. 

Of course, this is an offer that The Hillary can't refuse.  With the endorsement of Barack Obama, she can say she was called back into elective politics.  ("I keep trying to get out; they keep pulling me back in.")  She runs (and wins) without angering a certain large and loyal voting constituency.  And Bill is green with envy -- not at Hillary, but at Barack Obama!  "That's the job I wanted!"  He can't get over it. 

It's a win-win-win for the formerly beleaguered First Lady. 

Happy days are here again, indeed!

Everybody wins (on the left).

Hillary Clinton finds a way to jump over Barack Obama without looking like a racist.  Barack Obama finds a perfect way to avoid a humiliating loss, and yet get what he could not obtain as president. 

And the Democrats, having elected the first two black presidents (Barack Obama and Bill Clinton), elect the first female president, too. 

If I had to make a prediction, at this date, I'd still put my chips on Mr. Yes-We-Can to take out the opposition and remain in the White House for four more years.  But I think that my scenario is a real possibility...a lot more likely than a comeback by Brett Favre.

Hershel M. Chicowitz is Boomer-in-Charge, Baby Boomer HeadQuarters