According to my psychoanalyst, I have issues. She believes our nation's dichotomous political climate and divisive political dialogue is affecting my mental state and I'm beginning to show a "disconnect."
It's disconcerting to confess that you're coming unhinged -- to admit you're losing touch with reality and are living in some loony parallel universe. Just this month, famed astrophysicist Stephen Hawking expressed his belief that humans are capable of time travel. No kidding. Welcome to my world.
My therapist says my anger issues are revealing, but it's not a personality disorder that's got me. It's not an addictive disorder because I'm still meeting society's expectations and functioning effectively. And it wasn't what I originally feared -- schizophrenia -- because I show no signs of a psychotic disorder.
It's much worse than that, she said -- she suspects I'm turning into a liberal.
I was displaying three common symptoms, she explained, which confirmed her diagnosis. First, I become agitated and angry when confronted about opinions or facts that differ from my own. Second, I get defensive and deflect uncomfortable questions during conversation -- a technique not commonly found in healthy dialogue. And last, I'm showing aggressiveness by resorting to ad hominem attacks when someone doesn't understand that my point of view is always the correct one.
I'm beginning to call people names when they don't agree with me -- similar to what a third-grader does when she doesn't get her way, my psychoanalyst admonished.
With this new assessment of my mental state, I certainly wasn't going to tell her I often chat with my cat named "Schizo," or that lately I've been drinking a lot of Syrah just to cope.
According to her, my common sense is undergoing some kind of entropy, my interpretation of factual information is diminishing, and my judgment is suffering from abulia -- a deteriorating ability to exercise my will, to make good decisions, or to act independently.
Apparently I'm becoming excessively subjective and inordinately emotional, as opposed to having an objective, logical view accompanied by normal emotions. It seems I'm slipping into an altered reality where life becomes what I feel it should be, or whatever I want it to be.
Since my conversion to conservatism after a long bout with hippie-hood, vegetarianism, and philosophizing deep in the Big Sur redwoods while seeking my inner child, I've come to rely on the rock-solid truths of hard work, the unabridged exchange of ideas, and a reliance on facts and faith as opposed to feelings and unfounded fears.
I felt I'd made significant progress over the past thirty or so years overcoming my "if it feels good do it," "you are what you think," and "it's my way or the highway" mentality.
So it came as a shock when I received the bad news that I was regressing politically and returning to a time I thought I'd outgrown. Stephen Hawking said we could travel only forward in time -- not backward -- so I asked how this could be happening. She answered that astrophysics was theoretical, but my symptoms are real, and it would help if I stopped changing the subject -- that was part of my problem.
"So what do you believe is responsible for your regression?" she probed.
I was prepared to wax eloquent with my new political vernacular after recently reading a copy of Liberty and Tyranny by Mark Levin, but her question put me on the defensive, so I opted to tell the truth.
I've been on a mission to convince liberals that America is moving in a dangerous direction -- we're speeding down a suicidal path toward a Marxist precipice, and Obama is our head lemming.
I've immersed myself in their social circles and have tried to convey the seriousness of the perils our country faces -- not difficulties inherent in our system, but dangers being created solely by Obama and his radical progressive advisers.
The word "Progressive" seems to suggest some kind of positive movement, but it's distinctly the opposite -- it's a negative death wish for freedom and liberty. Progressive means "oppressive" -- massive, strict government; takeovers of valued American institutions; stifled speech; suppressed religion; and stunted freedoms -- replete with rules, regulations, and restrictions -- with cause and effect ultimately requiring repression. It's change we might all be forced to believe in!
A gazillion facts, videotapes, manuscripts, confessions, and even live speeches of Obama's nefarious intentions and his questionable relationships don't stir his hypnotized following. My other world has become a continuum of mordant verbal exchanges with Obama's "living dead."
As a result, I've stopped trying to awaken liberals from their coma by battling against a paralyzing deficit, the constrictions of Cap-and-Trade, or unsubstantiated climate change.
And I've given up discussing the largest breach of faith of our time: this administration's irresponsible and dangerously lackadaisical approach to homeland security. Other battles are moot if we lose this crucial war.
I believe the Obama administration's perilous approach to terror is driving most normal people crazy.
When Obama appointed Attorney General Eric Holder, Holder departed the law firm Covington and Burling, noted for defending -- not prosecuting -- radical Muslim extremists. Other attorneys then followed him from that firm to the DOJ, as have a multitude of attorneys who defended terror suspects ad nauseam at other law firms. Without doubt, this creates a sympathetic milieu for terror conspirators. Holder and his staff will not admit to a radical Muslim conspiracy. In fact, they won't even admit to a "concerted effort." Reid (the shoe bomber), Hassan (the Ft. Hood shooter), Abdulmutallab (the underwear bomb suspect), and Shahzad (who plotted the Times Square car bomb) all purportedly "acted alone" despite reams of contrary evidence. And thanks to Holder, if the "enemy combatants" seeking jihadi "social justice" blow a thousand Americans to smithereens, they still get Mirandized, so they can sit back, smirk, and remain silent. Last week's 20% slashing of New York City's port and subway security funds from nearly $200 million to $145 million by the Obama administration, and Obama's recent decision to remove the terms "Islamic extremism" and "jihad" from our National Security Strategy document, are inane, naïve capitulations.
In the end, liberalism is out of touch and myopic, and its quixotic lunacy has apparently begun to rub off on me. If the liberal expression "reality is a state of mind" is true, then their decisions now have me living out of state.
"You've become angry, you keep changing the subject, and you're resorting to name-calling," my psychoanalyst described. "You're living exclusively in an emotional world -- like a liberal."
"However, you're not permanently wacky," she happily reassured me. "Simply return to your conservative roots -- be patient, speak with reason, and stick to the truth."
"My suggestion to you is," she affirmed, "go home, relax, curl up with your cat and a good book...say...Liberty and Tyranny, and have a nice glass of Yakima Valley Syrah. By the way," she added, "what's the name of your cat?"
Kelcy Allen is a freelance writer. He lives in the great Pacific Northwest.