What I Will Do If ObamaCare Passes

I have done everything I could to help prevent ObamaCare. I have signed petitions, written letters to my representatives, and penned various articles for American Thinker. Still, I have a growing fear that ObamaCare might happen, so I decided that it would be wise to have a "Plan B" for myself just in case.

As I see it, coverage for an additional thirty million Americans is going to mean an eventual shortage of doctors and care. Despite what President Obama, Harry Reid, and Nancy Pelosi tell us, ObamaCare is going to result in the rationing of health care. When that happens, I want to be ready.

Here are my top four "Plan B" safety-valve ideas if ObamaCare passes:

1. I am going to buy the book by that guy I see on TV all the time, author Kevin Trudeau. His Natural Cures They Don't Want You To Know About will be looking pretty good by the time health care rationing starts. In fact, I think that there are a lot of good books like his out there. I am going to purchase them all. I am going to buy a new bookshelf and fill every shelf with natural cure books. If I die before I read them all, I will have my wife sell them on eBay. I am sure she will get a good price for them once ObamaCare kicks in.

2. I am going to sign up for self-hypnosis workshops and order self-hypnosis CDs. While perusing the internet, I discovered that there is a whole other world of health care beyond the conventional. If I am going to be subjected to health care rationing, I may as well give self-hypnosis a chance.

3. I am going to get out my old Q-Ray Bracelet and put it on. It never did help my herniated disc pain one darn bit, but it's not doing me any good sitting in my underwear drawer. This time, I am wearing it 'til I die. If that happens sooner than later, I bet my wife can get a good price on eBay for that, too, once ObamaCare starts.

4. I plan to find myself a top-of-the-line faith healer. I am talking bona fide, not like that charlatan who worked on Andy Kaufman.

There is a safety-valve idea "#5" I am considering should ObamaCare pass, but it is kind of humiliating, and I would need the help of my wife. I start by ordering an adult Clifford the Big Red Dog Halloween costume (I saw them for sale on Amazon). My wife brings me into the local veterinarian on all fours with a leash around my neck. She provides the vet with my stool and urine samples and explains, "This is my big red dog, Clifford. I would like him examined thoroughly. You are welcome to draw his blood and take X-rays, but he is not to receive any rabies or distemper shots. If I have to leave him, that is fine, but under no circumstances should he be neutered."

Speaking of canines, I recently found out that there is private health insurance coverage for pets available. Imagine that: Dogs and cats can get private coverage, but under ObamaCare, citizens will one day lose that option. On the other hand, our pets and their owners will one day have something in common which they never had before if ObamaCare passes: death panels.

I sure hope and pray that Obamacare fails. But now that I have some "Plan B" safety-valve ideas, I am feeling much better should Obamacare come to pass. I do hope that others will make use of some of my ideas.  I am sure we can get through this if we all pull together.

As we all know, President Obama and the Democrats are losing independents and various coalition-voting blocks. If Obamacare is passed and the health care rationing begins, we can all at least take some solace in knowing that he has lost yet another voting block: the hypochondriacs of America.