Your Political Mission, Should You Decide to Accept It

Back in the sixties, there was a television espionage series called Mission: Impossible. Thirty years later, there was the Mission: Impossible movie, starring Tom Cruise, followed by a couple of sequels. In both the movies and the television series, one of the main characters always gets his instructions from a personalized tape that includes the familiar phrase, "Your mission, should you decide to accept it."

My fellow conservative, there is an election this November, and I have a political mission for you. Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to convince at least one person in your life whom you know to be a die-hard Democrat to vote Republican.

Although this mission will not prove as exciting as a Mission: Impossible movie, it is of utmost importance. In fact, the future of our country may depend on the fulfillment of your mission, should you decide to accept it. Do not -- I repeat, do not take this article or assignment lightly. 

Background briefing:

I recently attended a two-day business meeting in which, not to my surprise, liberal business associates hopelessly outnumbered me. Ready to do battle with them in the field of political argument, I waited for them to start trashing the "obstructionist Republicans," which they did, and then I launched my own counteroffensive. I must admit that I had no success. Looking to change strategy, I later sought to continue the heated debating in one-on-one discourses. Sometimes, I felt I made real headway, particularly talking about Democrat runaway spending, a topic some could admit discomfort with, and then things would unravel because I went "too far." Evidently, I crossed an invisible line of credibility by defending FOX News, Rush Limbaugh, and Sarah Palin's intelligence, and by suggesting that the great Barack Obama may indeed be purposely trying to ruin our economy in his quest to remake America.

After returning home from the business meeting, I reassessed the political arguments and battles I had engaged in, what I said and what I should have said, and then came my epiphany. My grandfather was a salesman, my father was a salesman, and for the past thirty years, I too have been in sales. Had I not learned anything?  Never in my life had I made a sale or heard a family story about a sale that was built around argument. Never had I made a sale by losing my cool, by sarcasm, by telling a potential buyer that his value system was out of whack, or that he was wholly misinformed. Obviously, the same rules should apply to the peddling of political thought. If I am to sell someone on a political idea, I need to treat him as I would a prospective buyer, employing utmost courtesy, listening skills, and by sticking to message.

Your instructions:

We are at war with Barack Obama and his political far left agenda. Barack Obama is not up for reelection until 2012. Since we cannot vote him out of office until then, the next best thing we can do is defeat his allies, the Democrats, this November. Part of our approach to defeating the Democrats at the ballot box should include chipping away at the Democrat base. The good news is this is not a mission impossible. If you follow the instructions below, you will find it far easier to get a dedicated Democrat to change his vote than to get him to change his political belief system.

This "get a Democrat to vote Republican mission" will be achieved never through arguing and heated debate, but instead by smart salesmanship skills directed at Barack Obama's Achilles heel: the economy. While talking politics with a liberal, it is your mission to redirect the political discourse to the economy. You must keep hammering away (ever so politely) at the obvious. Spending trillions of dollars we do not have can only lead to unparalleled runaway inflation or fiscal collapse. Printing money with nothing to stand behind it is monetary madness, as is the growing debt to the Chinese, as is the burgeoning deficit. This spending spree of Congress and the Democrats has to end before it is too late. Health care for everyone might sound nice, but providing health insurance to thirty million uninsured Americans sounds more like a budget-buster than a deficit-reducer. And remember, my fellow conservative, that when shining the light of truth on Democrat economics, you should always employ the word unprecedented: unprecedented deficit, unprecedented borrowing, unprecedented spending, unprecedented unemployment since the Great Depression, and unprecedented bailouts.

So let your liberal sister-in-law Doris expound pro-choice, your nephew Chuck call for gun control, and your neighbor Fred rant about global warming. Do not take the bait, and do not let the quips about FOX News, Rush Limbaugh and Sarah Palin get you off-track. Instead, like a good salesperson, keep your cool and redirect the conversation to the economy, and tell them:

"I appreciate and respect your point of view, but if this kind of spending through the roof continues by the Democrats, all the moral issues you espouse will go by the wayside. If this country goes bankrupt, as it surely is on course to, your good intentions in voting will be the equivalent of rearranging furniture on the Titanic. You might find this difficult to believe, but I am scared to death, and I am thinking about your children as well as my own. We are talking about the financial meltdown of America, and do not think that it can never happen here. If you want this country to stay afloat, you might want to consider voting Republican for the first time. If you find that beyond your principles, perhaps you might want to sit out this election."

My fellow conservative, I understand that some of us are not cut out for this mission. We are not all meant for undercover work. You may believe that to hold one's tongue is a sign of weakness, and that fair Lady Sarah Palin needs her honor defended with the throwing down of the gauntlet when necessary. I appreciate the sentiment. You are excused from this mission, and you may withdraw with head held high. For those willing to accept this political mission, however, I trust that you can take it from here. Good luck. This article is now over.