Al Gore and the Bard

I was rereading Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice a couple of nights ago and I ran upon a phrase that reminded me of Al Gore:

You may as well go stand upon the beach

And bid the main flood bate his usual height....

The Merchant of Venice (Act IV, Scene 1).

I pictured the global warming (or is it climate change?) prophet reaching out his mighty hand and causing the oceans to recede. This passage started me thinking. Does the Bard specifically refer to Al Gore in any of his works? Not exactly.

But at least in my imagination, Shakespeare mentions the former vice president in several places. In some passages, as we will see, the Bard mentions both Al Gore and president-elect Barack Obama. (Those readers familiar with Shakespeare will notice that I have done a little creative editing of these excerpts.)

Here are the quotes with the appropriate citations:

Now is the winter of our discontent

Made glorious summer by this Al of Gore....

King Richard III (Act I, Scene 1).

In winter with warm tears, Al will melt the snow

And keep eternal spring-time on thy face....

Titus Andronicus (Act III, Scene 1).

Al Gore may bestride the gossamer

That idles in the wanton summer air,

And yet not fall; so light is vanity.

Romeo and Juliet (Act I, Scene 3).

To show how costly summer was at hand,

As this fore-spurrer comes before this Gore.

The Merchant of Venice (Act II, Scene 9).

I fear 'tis deepest winter in Lord Gore's purse....

Timon of Athens (Act II, Scene 2).

Al is a spirit of no common rate;

The summer still doth tend upon his state....

A Midsummer Night's Dream (Act III, Scene 1).

This moral ties Al over to time and a hot summer....

King Henry V (Act I, Scene 1).

There is so hot a summer in Al's bosom,

That all Gore's bowels crumble up to dust:

He is a scribbled form, drawn with a pen

Upon a parchment, and against this fire

Does he shrink up.

King John (Act V, Scene 7).

O, that that earth, which kept the world in awe,

Should patch a wall to expel the winter flaw!

But soft! but soft! {aside:} Here comes Al Gore.

Hamlet (Act V, Scene 1).

The wretched, bloody, and usurping Gore,

That spoil'd your summer fields and fruitful vines....

King Richard III (Act V, Scene 2).

For never-resting time leads summer on

To hideous winter and confounds Al Gore....

Fifth Sonnet

Gore is like one that superstitiously

Doth swear to the gods that winter kills the flies....

Pericles Prince of Tyre (Act IV, Scene 3).

An odorous chaplet of sweet summer buds

Is, as in mockery, set: the spring, the summer,

The childing autumn, angry winter, change

Gore's wonted liveries, and the mazed world,

By his increase, now knows not which is which....

A Midsummer Night's Dream (Act II, Scene 1).

... but, thou knowest, winter tames man, woman and beast;

for it hath tamed Al Gore....

The Taming of the Shrew (Act IV, Scene 1).

I, that did never weep, now melt with woe,

that winter should cut off Gore's spring-time so.

King Henry VI, Part III (Act II, Scene 3).

When clouds appear, wise men (except Al) put on their cloaks;

When great leaves fall, the winter is at hand....

King Richard III (Act II, Scene 3).

But Al must make fair weather yet a while....

King Henry VI, Part II (Act V, Scene 1).

Fie! this is hot weather, gentlemen. Has Al provided me here half a dozen sufficient men?

King Henry IV, Part II (Act III, Scene 2).

Al was sent before to make a fire, and Barack is coming after to warm them both. Now, were not Gore a little pot and soon hot, his very lips might freeze to his teeth, his tongue to the roof of his mouth, Gore's heart in his belly, ere Obama should come by a fire to thaw him: but Al, with blowing the fire, shall warm himself; for, considering the weather, a taller man than Barack will take cold.

The Taming of the Shrew (Act IV, Scene 1).

And pleased with what Gore gets,

Come hither, come hither, come hither:

Here shall Obama see No enemy

But winter and rough weather.

As You like It (Act II, Scene 5).

But when we saw our sunshine made Al's spring,

And that his summer bred us no increase,

We set the axe to Gore's usurping root;

And though the edge hath something hit ourselves,

Yet, know thou, since we have begun to strike,

We'll never leave till we have hewn him down....

King Henry VI, Part III (Act II, Scene 2).

And so we must. And so we shall.

Larrey Anderson is a writer, a philosopher, and submissions editor for American Thinker. His latest award-winning novel is The Order of the Beloved. His memoir, Underground: Life and Survival in the Russian Black Market, has just been released.
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