The funniest parts of Hillary's tragic concession speech

After renting the Javits Center for the largest loser's convention in history, Hillary Clinton finally gave a concession speech the following day.  I just wish I knew what her tears tasted like.

Last night I congratulated Donald Trump and offered to work with him on behalf of our country.

Hillary wants to work with Trump?  Donald Trump wants to prosecute her!  Do you think she will "work with" investigators who want to find out how she obstructed justice and destroyed government evidence?  Will she "work with" Bill to find out what was offered to Loretta Lynch at that private meeting on her plane?

I feel pride and gratitude for this wonderful campaign that we built together.

Together?  A funny choice of words, for a campaign built on hate and division – resentment of taxpayers, resentment of citizens against illegal immigration, labeling those concerned about Muslim refugees as Islamophobes, and so on.

Our campaign was never about one person ...

Of course it was.  Hillary's slogan was "I'm with HER."  It was all about electing her, and electing her just because she was a woman.  If you were against her, you must be against women.  Her very slogan smacked of division.  I didn't see Donald Trump using the slogan "I'm with HIM."

It was about the country we love and building an America that is hopeful, inclusive, and big-hearted.

Inclusive is code for altering the demographics of the country on a large scale with massive illegal immigration.  Big-hearted is code for welfare for said immigrants.

Our constitutional democracy ... enshrines the rule of law.

Really?  Hillary didn't show that when she repeatedly broke the law, letting her maid print out classified emails, and engaging in a cover-up afterward.  She didn't have a problem with Obama repeatedly breaking the law, be it changing Obamacare without legislation or legalizing illegal aliens without an act of Congress or mass pardons of criminals from jails.  By the way, I think this is the first time during the campaign that Hillary has mentioned the word "Constitution."

... we are all equal in rights and dignity; freedom of worship and expression ...

Really?  Because Hillary wants to force bakers and caterers to participate in gay weddings.  She wants to force girls to share bathrooms with mentally ill boys.  And I don't see the dignity in a baby about to be born having his brain drilled out.

... the American dream is big enough for everyone ... [f]or people of all races, and religions, for men and women, for immigrants, for LGBT people, and people with disabilities.

For everyone?  Does that include legal citizens, heterosexuals, and people without disabilities?  Because Hillary never, ever seems to talk about those.

... to all the women, and especially the young women, who put their faith in this campaign and in me: I want you to know that nothing has made me prouder than to be your champion.

And Hillary's comment to the men who put their faith in her?  Silence as always.  You could put your private parts in a coffee grinder for all she cares.

Now, I know we have still not shattered that highest and hardest glass ceiling ...

Is Hillary talking about prison?

You know, scripture tells us, let us not grow weary of doing good, for in good season we shall reap. May God bless you and may God bless the United States of America.

Here's a riddle: how do you know if a Democrat has just lost an election?  The answer: If she gives a speech mentioning  God.  Because you'll never hear the word come out of her lips at any other time.

Even in defeat, Hillary is as duplicitous as ever.  Instead of being the first female president, she will be remembered as the first female candidate for president while under criminal investigation who lost.  Thankfully, we have finally seen the last of the queen of the Sisterhood of the Presidential Pantsuit.

Ed Straker is the senior writer at NewsMachete.com.

After renting the Javits Center for the largest loser's convention in history, Hillary Clinton finally gave a concession speech the following day.  I just wish I knew what her tears tasted like.

Last night I congratulated Donald Trump and offered to work with him on behalf of our country.

Hillary wants to work with Trump?  Donald Trump wants to prosecute her!  Do you think she will "work with" investigators who want to find out how she obstructed justice and destroyed government evidence?  Will she "work with" Bill to find out what was offered to Loretta Lynch at that private meeting on her plane?

I feel pride and gratitude for this wonderful campaign that we built together.

Together?  A funny choice of words, for a campaign built on hate and division – resentment of taxpayers, resentment of citizens against illegal immigration, labeling those concerned about Muslim refugees as Islamophobes, and so on.

Our campaign was never about one person ...

Of course it was.  Hillary's slogan was "I'm with HER."  It was all about electing her, and electing her just because she was a woman.  If you were against her, you must be against women.  Her very slogan smacked of division.  I didn't see Donald Trump using the slogan "I'm with HIM."

It was about the country we love and building an America that is hopeful, inclusive, and big-hearted.

Inclusive is code for altering the demographics of the country on a large scale with massive illegal immigration.  Big-hearted is code for welfare for said immigrants.

Our constitutional democracy ... enshrines the rule of law.

Really?  Hillary didn't show that when she repeatedly broke the law, letting her maid print out classified emails, and engaging in a cover-up afterward.  She didn't have a problem with Obama repeatedly breaking the law, be it changing Obamacare without legislation or legalizing illegal aliens without an act of Congress or mass pardons of criminals from jails.  By the way, I think this is the first time during the campaign that Hillary has mentioned the word "Constitution."

... we are all equal in rights and dignity; freedom of worship and expression ...

Really?  Because Hillary wants to force bakers and caterers to participate in gay weddings.  She wants to force girls to share bathrooms with mentally ill boys.  And I don't see the dignity in a baby about to be born having his brain drilled out.

... the American dream is big enough for everyone ... [f]or people of all races, and religions, for men and women, for immigrants, for LGBT people, and people with disabilities.

For everyone?  Does that include legal citizens, heterosexuals, and people without disabilities?  Because Hillary never, ever seems to talk about those.

... to all the women, and especially the young women, who put their faith in this campaign and in me: I want you to know that nothing has made me prouder than to be your champion.

And Hillary's comment to the men who put their faith in her?  Silence as always.  You could put your private parts in a coffee grinder for all she cares.

Now, I know we have still not shattered that highest and hardest glass ceiling ...

Is Hillary talking about prison?

You know, scripture tells us, let us not grow weary of doing good, for in good season we shall reap. May God bless you and may God bless the United States of America.

Here's a riddle: how do you know if a Democrat has just lost an election?  The answer: If she gives a speech mentioning  God.  Because you'll never hear the word come out of her lips at any other time.

Even in defeat, Hillary is as duplicitous as ever.  Instead of being the first female president, she will be remembered as the first female candidate for president while under criminal investigation who lost.  Thankfully, we have finally seen the last of the queen of the Sisterhood of the Presidential Pantsuit.

Ed Straker is the senior writer at NewsMachete.com.