Hillary proposes turning coal mines into farms and dot-coms

Are you concerned that if Hillary gets elected, she will shut down all our coal mines?  Well, don't worry!  Hillary has a plan to revamp the mines and even help the miners she helped drive into unemployment.  She is going to turn coal mines into dot-coms and farms.

Clinton's sweeping plan, which would pull from a variety of existing federal pots and establish new programs and grants, would train coal miners in new fields, install broadband Internet access infrastructure, repurpose coal mines and power plants for new tech manufacturing or agriculture, preserve revenue directed at public schools, electrify existing dams and expand renewable energy permits on federal land.

I'm sure coal miners would happily trade their jobs for broadband internet access.  With all the free time they're about to have, they can watch a lot of Netflix and Hulu while living on their unemployment checks.

But the weirdest part is turning coal mines into farms or tech manufacturing.  Do you think Hillary has considered the problem of growing food under the ground where there is no natural sunlight?  Or do you think she is planning to put solar energy panels down there to power artificial lights?  And why would any tech company relocate inside a coal mine?  Do you think they would bring canaries with them?

But wait, there's more!

Clinton’s plan would make sure retirees get their benefits when coal companies file for bankruptcy

Isn't that great?  First she drives their companies out of business, but then she makes sure the workers get their pensions!

This is what government control of the economy delivers. The government decides that one popular source of electricity is undesirable.  It destroys the industry and drives everyone out of business.  Then it decides people need a new industry: windmills and solar panels, which are notoriously unable to be cost-effective compared to coal and natural gas.

And this is all in the name of fighting imaginary global warming, all decreed by environmental ayatollahs like Hillary, who want to tell us how to eat, work, and live.

This article was written by Ed Straker, senior writer of NewsMachete.com, the conservative news site.

Are you concerned that if Hillary gets elected, she will shut down all our coal mines?  Well, don't worry!  Hillary has a plan to revamp the mines and even help the miners she helped drive into unemployment.  She is going to turn coal mines into dot-coms and farms.

Clinton's sweeping plan, which would pull from a variety of existing federal pots and establish new programs and grants, would train coal miners in new fields, install broadband Internet access infrastructure, repurpose coal mines and power plants for new tech manufacturing or agriculture, preserve revenue directed at public schools, electrify existing dams and expand renewable energy permits on federal land.

I'm sure coal miners would happily trade their jobs for broadband internet access.  With all the free time they're about to have, they can watch a lot of Netflix and Hulu while living on their unemployment checks.

But the weirdest part is turning coal mines into farms or tech manufacturing.  Do you think Hillary has considered the problem of growing food under the ground where there is no natural sunlight?  Or do you think she is planning to put solar energy panels down there to power artificial lights?  And why would any tech company relocate inside a coal mine?  Do you think they would bring canaries with them?

But wait, there's more!

Clinton’s plan would make sure retirees get their benefits when coal companies file for bankruptcy

Isn't that great?  First she drives their companies out of business, but then she makes sure the workers get their pensions!

This is what government control of the economy delivers. The government decides that one popular source of electricity is undesirable.  It destroys the industry and drives everyone out of business.  Then it decides people need a new industry: windmills and solar panels, which are notoriously unable to be cost-effective compared to coal and natural gas.

And this is all in the name of fighting imaginary global warming, all decreed by environmental ayatollahs like Hillary, who want to tell us how to eat, work, and live.

This article was written by Ed Straker, senior writer of NewsMachete.com, the conservative news site.