Weiner's Got Hillary's Pantsuit in a Bunch

Jeannie DeAngelis
It's taken Hillary Clinton decades to politically circumvent Bill's sexual peccadilloes and put enough distance between his bad behavior and her fantastical self-image of a strong, capable leader.

In her unending quest to occupy the Oval Office, Mrs. Clinton lives her pantsuit-centered life in one locale while wandering Bill lives his pantsless life in another, and with God's grace the twain meet as infrequently as possible.

Now, as Hillary sets her sights on the White House for yet a second time, out of the shadows comes another XY chromosome character with a zipper that seems to be stuck in the down position.

Complicating matters is his patient wife, who just so happens to be Hillary's right-hand woman and who has fashioned her response to her husband's repeated transgressions after the ever-stoic faithful spouse Hillary.

That scenario is precisely why Ms. Rodham-Clinton's pantsuit is in a bunch. Seems mayoral hopeful Tiny... oops, I mean Tony Weiner and wife Huma Abedin are comparing Weinergate I and II to the cock-up that well-known cigar aficionado Bill Clinton perpetrated on America during his eight-year stint.

For most people, emulation would be a compliment, but not for Mrs. Clinton. The problem is that after almost 25 years of carving a place for herself that protects her from her husband's notorious inability to control his wandering libido, the last thing Hillary needs right now is to have Weiner's image associated with Slick Willy's and a rejected but forbearing Huma linked to her own.

In classic Clinton style, Weiner is desperately trying to deflect attention away from the iPhone pictures of his penis and proclaim his concern for the middle class. Meanwhile, Democrats are saying that "The Clintons are upset with the comparisons that the Weiners seem to be encouraging -- that Huma is 'standing by her man' the way Hillary did with Bill, which is not what she in fact did."

Hillary didn't 'stand by her man?' Oh, that's right, what Hillary did had nothing to do with 'standing.' Instead, Hillary vanished into the nether regions of solitude, sat right down, and crafted a new plan of action. Then, when the time was right, Hillary emerged stronger, more enduring, and more determined to move forward with her systematic plan to realize her dream of presidential omnipotence.

As for Bill, his being upset is understandable. After all, let's give credit where credit is due. Weiner's 'vast iPhone conspiracy' is small potatoes in comparison to the escapades of an unmatched swordsman like Bill Clinton. Not only that, but Bill doesn't want a weenie like Weiner to ruin his chances of parking his humidor on a shelf in the Oval Office for old time's sake.

That's supposedly why the Clintons are angry. It's alleged that Hill and Bill believe that Weiner and his campaign aides are pointing to their experiences in desperation, to convince those who want Weiner to throw in the towel, so to speak, that marital infidelity is a private matter. After all, Bill Clinton did prove that refusing to let go of the (ahem) presidency together with a supportive wife was key to his being undeterred by minor details like a blue Gap dress, perjury, and impeachment.

According to one Clinton source, "The Clintons are pissed off that Weiner's campaign is saying that Huma is just like Hillary. How dare they compare Huma with Hillary? Hillary was the first lady. Hillary was a senator. She was secretary of state." Yeah! How dare anybody compare anyone to Hillary? Doing so borders on blasphemy.

Question: When the Weiner campaign says Huma "is just like Hillary," do they mean in ways other than imitating Clinton's haltingly didactic lilt when publicly defending her husband's spicy sexts? And yes, it's true, Hillary was the first lady, but at the height of the Lewinsky scandal she was neither a senator nor the secretary of state.

Moreover, since when does the position held by the spouse of a pervert define one reaction as being superior to another? Hillary sets the scorned-woman tone and then punishes a supposed protégé for imitating an attitude that has repeatedly delivered Hillary political rewards?

The consensus among Hillary defenders is that the Weiners are making thinly-veiled allusions to the Clintons. For instance, at the press conference where Abedin dutifully declared that "Our marriage, like many others, has had its ups and its downs," a prominent Democrat asked, "Who didn't think Huma was referring to the Clintons when she said [like many others]?" Now that's just plain unfair. For the Weiners it may be "ups and downs," but for the Clintons, it's different -- it's "ins and outs."

Clinton's aides claim that Abedin supporting a husband who continued acting out after he resigned from Congress in 2011 has "the Clintons stunned." Hillary, wife of sex addict Bill, being "stunned" over Weiner being unable to discontinue his sexual shenanigans is like Nicole Kidman being "stunned" that ex-husband and notorious control freak Tom Cruise stifled Katie Holmes.

Are the Clintons, who refuse to drop out of anything and continue to drag home medals for sitting on the sidelines, attempting to further desensitize America to their own dysfunction by demanding Weiner drop out of the race for behaving just like them?

Yep! And after being mortified and humiliated by her husband, power-hungry Huma is now being cast aside by power-hungry Hillary, whose needs Abedin faithfully attended to while Tony was home pitching ideas for erotic encounters to Sydney Leathers.

Let's face it -- Hillary Clinton is not going to allow her political ambitions to be mucked up by a sex scandal that pales in comparison to the one she survived with Bill. And so, as she forges ahead in her relentless quest for the White House, the unstoppable Hillary 'Benghazi' Clinton will continue to do what she does best: dodge scandals and fling friends aside.

Jeannie hosts a blog at http://www.jeannie-ology.com/ 

It's taken Hillary Clinton decades to politically circumvent Bill's sexual peccadilloes and put enough distance between his bad behavior and her fantastical self-image of a strong, capable leader.

In her unending quest to occupy the Oval Office, Mrs. Clinton lives her pantsuit-centered life in one locale while wandering Bill lives his pantsless life in another, and with God's grace the twain meet as infrequently as possible.

Now, as Hillary sets her sights on the White House for yet a second time, out of the shadows comes another XY chromosome character with a zipper that seems to be stuck in the down position.

Complicating matters is his patient wife, who just so happens to be Hillary's right-hand woman and who has fashioned her response to her husband's repeated transgressions after the ever-stoic faithful spouse Hillary.

That scenario is precisely why Ms. Rodham-Clinton's pantsuit is in a bunch. Seems mayoral hopeful Tiny... oops, I mean Tony Weiner and wife Huma Abedin are comparing Weinergate I and II to the cock-up that well-known cigar aficionado Bill Clinton perpetrated on America during his eight-year stint.

For most people, emulation would be a compliment, but not for Mrs. Clinton. The problem is that after almost 25 years of carving a place for herself that protects her from her husband's notorious inability to control his wandering libido, the last thing Hillary needs right now is to have Weiner's image associated with Slick Willy's and a rejected but forbearing Huma linked to her own.

In classic Clinton style, Weiner is desperately trying to deflect attention away from the iPhone pictures of his penis and proclaim his concern for the middle class. Meanwhile, Democrats are saying that "The Clintons are upset with the comparisons that the Weiners seem to be encouraging -- that Huma is 'standing by her man' the way Hillary did with Bill, which is not what she in fact did."

Hillary didn't 'stand by her man?' Oh, that's right, what Hillary did had nothing to do with 'standing.' Instead, Hillary vanished into the nether regions of solitude, sat right down, and crafted a new plan of action. Then, when the time was right, Hillary emerged stronger, more enduring, and more determined to move forward with her systematic plan to realize her dream of presidential omnipotence.

As for Bill, his being upset is understandable. After all, let's give credit where credit is due. Weiner's 'vast iPhone conspiracy' is small potatoes in comparison to the escapades of an unmatched swordsman like Bill Clinton. Not only that, but Bill doesn't want a weenie like Weiner to ruin his chances of parking his humidor on a shelf in the Oval Office for old time's sake.

That's supposedly why the Clintons are angry. It's alleged that Hill and Bill believe that Weiner and his campaign aides are pointing to their experiences in desperation, to convince those who want Weiner to throw in the towel, so to speak, that marital infidelity is a private matter. After all, Bill Clinton did prove that refusing to let go of the (ahem) presidency together with a supportive wife was key to his being undeterred by minor details like a blue Gap dress, perjury, and impeachment.

According to one Clinton source, "The Clintons are pissed off that Weiner's campaign is saying that Huma is just like Hillary. How dare they compare Huma with Hillary? Hillary was the first lady. Hillary was a senator. She was secretary of state." Yeah! How dare anybody compare anyone to Hillary? Doing so borders on blasphemy.

Question: When the Weiner campaign says Huma "is just like Hillary," do they mean in ways other than imitating Clinton's haltingly didactic lilt when publicly defending her husband's spicy sexts? And yes, it's true, Hillary was the first lady, but at the height of the Lewinsky scandal she was neither a senator nor the secretary of state.

Moreover, since when does the position held by the spouse of a pervert define one reaction as being superior to another? Hillary sets the scorned-woman tone and then punishes a supposed protégé for imitating an attitude that has repeatedly delivered Hillary political rewards?

The consensus among Hillary defenders is that the Weiners are making thinly-veiled allusions to the Clintons. For instance, at the press conference where Abedin dutifully declared that "Our marriage, like many others, has had its ups and its downs," a prominent Democrat asked, "Who didn't think Huma was referring to the Clintons when she said [like many others]?" Now that's just plain unfair. For the Weiners it may be "ups and downs," but for the Clintons, it's different -- it's "ins and outs."

Clinton's aides claim that Abedin supporting a husband who continued acting out after he resigned from Congress in 2011 has "the Clintons stunned." Hillary, wife of sex addict Bill, being "stunned" over Weiner being unable to discontinue his sexual shenanigans is like Nicole Kidman being "stunned" that ex-husband and notorious control freak Tom Cruise stifled Katie Holmes.

Are the Clintons, who refuse to drop out of anything and continue to drag home medals for sitting on the sidelines, attempting to further desensitize America to their own dysfunction by demanding Weiner drop out of the race for behaving just like them?

Yep! And after being mortified and humiliated by her husband, power-hungry Huma is now being cast aside by power-hungry Hillary, whose needs Abedin faithfully attended to while Tony was home pitching ideas for erotic encounters to Sydney Leathers.

Let's face it -- Hillary Clinton is not going to allow her political ambitions to be mucked up by a sex scandal that pales in comparison to the one she survived with Bill. And so, as she forges ahead in her relentless quest for the White House, the unstoppable Hillary 'Benghazi' Clinton will continue to do what she does best: dodge scandals and fling friends aside.

Jeannie hosts a blog at http://www.jeannie-ology.com/