Michelle Obama Tired of Living in a 'Prison'
Comes now Michelle Obama to the "African First Ladies Summit" in Tanzania -- I kid you not -- where she opined as to how she lives in a "prison." (Story here.) Presumably she refers not only to the role which got her to the "summit," but also to that residence-in-lockdown known 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
Oh, she soothed the wounds of her nominal fellow Americans back home -- you know, that's us, the ones who can't afford hundred-million-dollar whirlwind vacations -- when she removed her thumb from our eye and added a little salve by relieving herself of the further observations that it's a "really nice" prison, and that "[y]ou can't complain."
Sure sounds like a complaint to me. After all, we forced her husband to run for office, twice. Her clearly prepped lines were a staged insult, a backhand denunciation, a lamentation that she doesn't have even more. More what? I guess she'd like to have some "freedom" -- to spread her wings and enjoy all that conspicuous stardom -- without all that icky security that accompanies her every move. You know: just breathe a little. It's so hard to do, what with Air Force One; the rolling fortress limousine known as the "Beast"; all those Secret Service guys with their martial arts and high-tech weaponry hanging around protecting the besieged Obamas everyplace they go; and so much other plain bother.
This is a favorite technique of the Obamas: to denounce, demean, and disdain -- preening, by praising with faint damnation -- while enjoying privilege and opulence others can only dream of.
Mrs. Obama, I'll let you in on a little secret: your husband has a get-out-of-jail-free card for you. He can resign any time he likes. He can liberate you from the claustrophobe's nightmare of a life you're living in that close, confining White House, with its endless dinners, parties, receptions, concerts, parades of dignitaries, command performances, rock stars, and galas. Help you say no for good to the opulent trips, ethereal resorts, and regal dining constantly foisted upon you. So straitjacketing! Help you change the life you just can't keep from criticizing, for all the world to hear, when you're off in foreign lands. Finally let you stand down from the merciless schedule of unrelenting glamour, sparkling luxury, and globetrotting.
And should your husband decide to redeem that card, why, you can fly that golden coop right along with him. Sounds like it would be fine with you if he did. It would be fine with us ordinary folk, too. The escape hatch is open. Talk to him about it! Now that you're finally proud of your country, you deserve to live a little.
Richard Kantro may be reached at email@example.com.