While shamelessly viewing real estate porn on the internet late one night, I came across a fifty million dollar ($50,00,000) condo in New York City. A quick look at the floor plan revealed a law suit waiting to happen: The master bedroom boasted "his" and "hers" baths.
What an outrageous affront to the LGBT community! Realtors and developers who would never think to discriminate against racial minorities are brazenly advertising that monogendered couples are not welcome in one of New York's primo luxury buildings.
Here's a link to the floor plan showing the offending bathrooms.
While the notation in small lettering at the bottom claims this is an EQUAL HOUSING OPPORTUNITY offering, it clearly is not. Why is the Equal Housing Opportunity Commission turning its head, pretending this is not an issue? Don't they care about the welfare of New York's gay and lesbian newlyweds? Has the EHO Commission chosen to completely disregard the Fourteenth Amendment's guarantee of equal protection?
One thing is certain, the message is clear: Gay and lesbian couples need not apply to live at this tony address.
When the Equal Housing Opportunity commission finally comes to its senses and catches up with the twenty-first century -- no doubt after a series of law suits -- they will have to first condemn, then outlaw these terms which discriminate against same sex couples. In our new genderless world, "His and Hers" acknowledge only one third of the possible pairings. What about "His and His" and "Hers and Hers?"
Perhaps "Person One" and "Person Two" would provide a simple, acceptable alternative. That is, until states begin to recognize marriages of three or more. Then: How dare developers and realtors be inclusive of only two of three partners in a marriage? Sound far-fetched? Hardly. A Florida judge recently ordered that a child's birth certificate display the names of three parents: two lesbians, one of whom bore the child, and the hairdresser of one of the lesbians (a gay man who provided the sperm). With birth certificates sporting more than two names, marriage certificates are sure to follow.
Come to think of it, the advertised condo has a Master Bedroom which measures more than forty feet long. It could certainly accomodate a polyamorous marriage.
We live in a brave new world where political correctness has made it nearly impossible not to offend somebody, no matter how hard we try not to. Natural law will prove to be the greatest offender of all.