I've Been a Limousine Liberal...Twice

David Lawrence
As an adolescent, I was a limousine liberal in my dad's house in Great Neck.  I felt compassion for all the needy of the world and admired the communists who were trying to spread the wealth in equal, fair shares to people of unequal talents, efforts, and ambitions.

I later found out that the world is a nasty place; I learned that if we really want our fair share, the only way to get it is to earn it.  We're not given it by misguided, bathetic bleeding hearts who are in no position to decide who deserves what.

When I was in jail for tax evasion, the prison psychiatrist would ask me, "Why are you the only one here who seems happy?"  I liked being removed from the mediocre work-a-day world and having the opportunity to write four hours a day and work out three.  I told the warden, "Thank you for putting me in fighters-writers camp."  He looked at me like I was mad.  I was happy.  I was into myself like a pit in a watermelon.

Now I am sitting in my tiny office at Gleason's Gym, thinking of how liberal the world has become.  Particularly the Brooklynites.  More so the rich Brooklynites.

Why?  Because the rich want the advantage of their money and goodies, while they also want the self-satisfaction and egotism of being good people.  They feel superficial feelings for the disadvantaged and pat themselves on the back.  How greedy to want everything for themselves -- the money and the moral high ground.

The limousine liberals open their windows as they drive by and throw out a cookie or an encouraging word.  Then they drive past a church or a temple and whisper to each other that they are too big, too sophisticated for God.  They praise communism but don't mention the hundreds of millions of people slaughtered in Russia, China, Vietnam, Cuba, Cambodia, etc. 

The only "ism" they hate is "Nazism."  It is easy to pick on the bad guys, because the Nazis have no redeeming features.  The communists have the rhetoric of peace alongside the destruction of their own people.  Obama's early posters were shaded red.  His re-election slogan was the Communist word "Forward."

I've been a limousine liberal twice in my life: in the sixties in my dad's Lincoln, in the eighties and nineties in my Rolls-Royce.  Now the subway car is my limousine, and my driver is my Republican views.  I have grown up.  I admire my monthly Metrocard.  I do not suck up to beggars and the poor just to feel like Christ.

The liberals do -- yet most of them are ironically atheists and have not suffered crucifixion for the sins of mankind.  They are believers in nothing.  They are regulations minus the moral convictions.  They are mouths of emptiness spitting out the saliva of platitudes.

 

As an adolescent, I was a limousine liberal in my dad's house in Great Neck.  I felt compassion for all the needy of the world and admired the communists who were trying to spread the wealth in equal, fair shares to people of unequal talents, efforts, and ambitions.

I later found out that the world is a nasty place; I learned that if we really want our fair share, the only way to get it is to earn it.  We're not given it by misguided, bathetic bleeding hearts who are in no position to decide who deserves what.

When I was in jail for tax evasion, the prison psychiatrist would ask me, "Why are you the only one here who seems happy?"  I liked being removed from the mediocre work-a-day world and having the opportunity to write four hours a day and work out three.  I told the warden, "Thank you for putting me in fighters-writers camp."  He looked at me like I was mad.  I was happy.  I was into myself like a pit in a watermelon.

Now I am sitting in my tiny office at Gleason's Gym, thinking of how liberal the world has become.  Particularly the Brooklynites.  More so the rich Brooklynites.

Why?  Because the rich want the advantage of their money and goodies, while they also want the self-satisfaction and egotism of being good people.  They feel superficial feelings for the disadvantaged and pat themselves on the back.  How greedy to want everything for themselves -- the money and the moral high ground.

The limousine liberals open their windows as they drive by and throw out a cookie or an encouraging word.  Then they drive past a church or a temple and whisper to each other that they are too big, too sophisticated for God.  They praise communism but don't mention the hundreds of millions of people slaughtered in Russia, China, Vietnam, Cuba, Cambodia, etc. 

The only "ism" they hate is "Nazism."  It is easy to pick on the bad guys, because the Nazis have no redeeming features.  The communists have the rhetoric of peace alongside the destruction of their own people.  Obama's early posters were shaded red.  His re-election slogan was the Communist word "Forward."

I've been a limousine liberal twice in my life: in the sixties in my dad's Lincoln, in the eighties and nineties in my Rolls-Royce.  Now the subway car is my limousine, and my driver is my Republican views.  I have grown up.  I admire my monthly Metrocard.  I do not suck up to beggars and the poor just to feel like Christ.

The liberals do -- yet most of them are ironically atheists and have not suffered crucifixion for the sins of mankind.  They are believers in nothing.  They are regulations minus the moral convictions.  They are mouths of emptiness spitting out the saliva of platitudes.