Why didn't I think of this? There is a way to give liberals what they want on gun control, while not infringing on any actual Second Amendment rights. Everybody wins! If they prefer to live in a fantasy world, pass gun control measures against imaginary guns. They can't tell the difference, anyway.
Writing at PJ Media, Frank J. Fleming grasps the essential nature of the left's desires:
...the people most fervently for [gun control legislation] don't know anything about what they're trying to outlaw (or for that matter, human psychology, based on their frequent predictions that the wild west will break out wherever concealed carry is allowed). They hear "semi-automatic" and think "machine gun," and it's obvious that they don't even know what these gun bans do. So here's a great idea that should make everyone happy: Let's just pretend to pass gun control legislation.
What we can do is pass a law banning a bunch of made-up things that sound scary, and many gun control proponents already have great ideas along this line. For instance, I read a column in which Howard Kurtz mentioned a ban on high-magazine clips - we can certainly do without something that nonsensical. And I've heard the press before mention armor-piercing hollow points and plastic guns (actually, I think we already banned that made-up weapon in the '80s). And as long as the NRA and Wayne LaPierre go apoplectic about it ("This ban on sorcerer-enchanted guns is just a slippery slope toward eliminating all witch-hexed weaponry!"), gun control proponents won't know the difference between this and actual gun control.
This is brilliant. I suggets we focus our efforts on coming up with other pretend concessions to the left, perhaps hiking taxes on imaginary products, and banning discrimination against cartoon characters. Once we accept that our opposition is reality challenged, we can cede to them sovereignty over the imaginary realms in their own minds, and focus our own policies on the real world.
Update: More of the same strategy of giving liberals what they want in their fantasy world -- gun free zones instead of Secret Service protection. A petition to the White House, nearing the critical 25,000 signatures necessary for a formal response:
WE PETITION THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION TO:
Eliminate armed guards for the President, Vice-President, and their families, and establish Gun Free Zones around them
Gun Free Zones are supposed to protect our children, and some politicians wish to strip us of our right to keep and bear arms. Those same politicians and their families are currently under the protection of armed Secret Service agents. If Gun Free Zones are sufficient protection for our children, then Gun Free Zones should be good enough for politicians.
Hat tip: Instapundit