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December 27, 2012
Gay Dads and The Parent Trap
Never before in history have children been born with the explicit purpose of being deprivedof either a mom or dad. Yet children who are brought into this world to satisfy the wants of gay and lesbian couples enter the world in exactly this way. They live with the knowledge that one of their biological parents will remain forever an enigmatic phantom.
The children of genderless marriages are a contrivance meant to complete the picture of the tidy house and white picket fence existence of gay and lesbian couples. I'm gay; I'm well-acquainted with this.
Until recently, children were viewed as a pure gift from God. Now new laws undefining marriage are producing the sad result of undefining children as well, reducing them to chattel-like sources of fulfillment. On one side, their family tree consists not of ancestors, but of a small army of anonymous surrogates, donors, and attorneys who pinch-hit for the absent gender in genderless marriages.
Interestingly, the 1998 movie The Parent Trap has a lot to say about kids growing up with two gay dads or two lesbian moms:
Two girls who look remarkably alike, Hallie Parker and Annie James, bump into each other at an exclusive New England summer camp. They soon discover that they are twins who were separated shortly after birth. During their remaining time at camp they concoct a scheme to switch identities and trade places. Each so desperately wants to meet her missing parent that both are willing to change appearance, hairstyle, mannerisms, voice, and accent, and to move to a foreign country -- all so each can have a surreptitious, stolen few days with the mom or dad for whom she longs.
Hallie, living with her dad in California Wine Country, has everything a young girl could want: a beautiful hillside mansion with a swimming pool and stables, situated in the middle of Napa Valley. She has a handsome dad who is a fabulously successful vintner. In short, she has everything, but she still yearns for the mom that has been denied her.
Annie lives in a mansion in a posh London suburb. Her beautiful mom is a world-famous dress designer. She has servants to wait on her and a chauffeur-driven Rolls-Royce at her disposal. Yet Annie likewise yearns for the dad that has been denied her.
Both these girls lead enviable fairytale lives. But viewers watching this film, the majority of whom enjoy far less material wealth and security, feel sorry for both girls, because both are missing a parent. This irony is precisely the point of the movie.
It's interesting, too, that Hallie's aunt lives in the home and serves as a sort of surrogate mother figure/housekeeper, while Annie's maternal grandfather lives with her and her mom, serving as a paternal figure for Annie. Despite the fact that both these wonderful, very upbeat, loving households have a closely related, caring figure of the opposite sex present, a Grand Canyon-sized hole persists in Annie's and Hallie's hearts.
As the movie unfolds, we learn that their family was torn asunder and separated by both an ocean and a continent to satisfy their parents' wants. In this case, adults are responsible for dividing. In the case of children produced for genderless marriage, adults are responsible for depriving.
Deprivation -- permanently, irrevocably etched into the souls of human beings created for genderless marriages. Is a more cynical proposition imaginable? Yet by "undefining" marriage, our legislatures, courts, and, now in three states, voters are "undefining" children.
What are we doing to our children? We need to thoroughly think through the unintended, unconsidered consequences which lurk -- or are purposefully obscured -- behind our move toward genderless marriage.
This is a major component of the debate about same-sex marriage which hasn't fully entered the national discussion beyond academic circles. And with good reason: if people were actually given the chance to think through all the consequences of instituting genderless marriage, viewing it from the perspective of yet to be conceived children, they might be far less likely to support it.
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