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October 1, 2012
Joe Biden Peddles Free Colonoscopies
Talking up Barack Obama's commitment to Medicare in Florida, Joe Biden delivered a promise to seniors that he must believe will sew up the Sunshine State for Obama: free colonoscopies.
Although free contraceptives would normally be tantalizing bait for the bridge/billiards/ bingo set, what Sandra Fluke deems important might not cut it for the residents of the Century Village Clubhouse in Boca Raton. So, remaining in the same anatomical vicinity and speaking from a general area of expertise, Joe reassured seniors that doctors could embark on a tour of their lower intestines for a zero co-pay.
In addition to promising free colonoscopies, full-of-it Joe also offered a "firm testimonial for the president when it comes to his stewardship of the US relationship with Israel."
Adapting his stump speech to appeal to the religious persuasion of some of his audience, Biden said "Although I was raised by a righteous Christian, my dad, I was raised by an awful lot of folks back home politically who taught me early on, along with my pop, that we have certain special obligations around the world. One of those, one of those, is Israel."
After mentioning Israel, Joe said, "I'm not going to talk about Israel today." Then the Vice President, sounding like he might be the one suffering from senile dementia himself, said "I just want to say one thing. I just want to tell you how proud I am, how proud I am to stand shoulder to shoulder with a guy who has done more for Israel's physical security than any president of the eight I've served with."
Joe should have first asked for a show of hands from those in the early stages of Alzheimer's disease prior to declaring: "Everyone knows, everyone in this room knows that President Obama has increased the benefits available to people on Medicare by the action he took."
Although Obama gutted Medicare to keep Obamacare "deficit neutral," Mr. Biden stressed that seniors are "[n]ow able to go get a wellness exam." What Joe didn't elaborate on was what Obamacare covers if that wellness exam found them...er, not so well. Vice President Biden also neglected to explain the President's view on end-of-life care and whether those exhibiting a "joy of life" would be more likely to get the pacemaker or the pain killer.
Then, the Vice President explained: "and guys, if you conclude you need a colonoscopy because of the feeling you had or you need a breast health examination, you don't have to pay a co-pay for that." The 69-year-old Vice President implying personal knowledge of a "feeling" many seniors have concerning colon health probably introduced a dose of relatable familiarity into an already thrilling event.
Biden went on to hammer Romney/Ryan's credibility when it comes to issues of Social Security and Medicare and warn how seniors would be negatively affected if the Republican team was elected.
Joe Biden implored: "A lot of you who are my age, you know one of the things we learn is, it's not just what you say, it's what you've done. And ladies and gentlemen, I'd just ask you, who is likely to be telling you the truth? Someone who's spent 40 years of his life defending Medicare... or these folks who've already demonstrated what they're prepared to do?"
Bingo Joe! But what about President Obama? Hasn't he proven to Americans of all ages that whether it's healthcare, Medicare cuts, or his dismissive and sometimes contemptuous treatment of the nation of Israel, "it's not just what you say, it's what you've done?" Therefore, despite a "righteous Christian" like Joe Biden promising free colonoscopies, hopefully, clear-thinking senior citizens already know that what Barack Obama has both said and done is the surest indicator of "who is likely to be telling the truth."
correction: Tamarac, FL erroneously cited as the location, and deleted
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