Equal in Ignorance

Judith Weizner
You'd think the news that France has given the vote to ten-year-olds would be all over the media, but I seem to have missed it. How else to explain President François Hollande's pledge to abolish homework in his country?

Oh, wait -- he did explain: In la belle France it seems some parents are better equipped than others to help their children with schoolwork, thus giving them an unfair advantage.

See? -- no homework, level playing field. Ėgalité in action.

When Monsieur Hollande was elected Président de Tout le Monde little did I realize that he would supply me with the answer to a vexing problem: for some time now I've been searching for a slogan to fit on a bumper sticker explaining exactly why socialism stinks. "Equality comes out of the barrel of a gun" is the closest I've ever come, although that could be misconstrued as a plug for the Colt Company. Everything else has been too wordy (I don't want to be rear-ended because the print on my bumper sticker is too small).

But along comes Mr. Hollande et voilá: Equal in Ignorance.

Enforcing the Hollande fiat will require some ingenuity, though: what's to prevent conscientious parents from finding insidious ways to instruct their young? A gendarme in every home is one possibility, but a microphone under the dinner table doesn't require a pension after 20 years of service. Or, for a cheaper solution, le Parlement could compel every French family to watch "Dancing with the Stars" while they eat.

Getting it right the first time is important because if some children seem to know more than their peers, the next président might decree that all French children eat together in kinderrestaurants.

Equality under the law is one hallmark of an advanced civilization. Any other kind of equality is une mirage.

 

You'd think the news that France has given the vote to ten-year-olds would be all over the media, but I seem to have missed it. How else to explain President François Hollande's pledge to abolish homework in his country?

Oh, wait -- he did explain: In la belle France it seems some parents are better equipped than others to help their children with schoolwork, thus giving them an unfair advantage.

See? -- no homework, level playing field. Ėgalité in action.

When Monsieur Hollande was elected Président de Tout le Monde little did I realize that he would supply me with the answer to a vexing problem: for some time now I've been searching for a slogan to fit on a bumper sticker explaining exactly why socialism stinks. "Equality comes out of the barrel of a gun" is the closest I've ever come, although that could be misconstrued as a plug for the Colt Company. Everything else has been too wordy (I don't want to be rear-ended because the print on my bumper sticker is too small).

But along comes Mr. Hollande et voilá: Equal in Ignorance.

Enforcing the Hollande fiat will require some ingenuity, though: what's to prevent conscientious parents from finding insidious ways to instruct their young? A gendarme in every home is one possibility, but a microphone under the dinner table doesn't require a pension after 20 years of service. Or, for a cheaper solution, le Parlement could compel every French family to watch "Dancing with the Stars" while they eat.

Getting it right the first time is important because if some children seem to know more than their peers, the next président might decree that all French children eat together in kinderrestaurants.

Equality under the law is one hallmark of an advanced civilization. Any other kind of equality is une mirage.