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May 13, 2012
'Out for Obama' and Other Outlandish Campaign Slogans
On behalf of advancing equality, following the "evolution" of Barack Obama being made public, the President's campaign almost instantly added a line of 2012 products to store.barackobama.com that appealed exclusively to euphoric homosexual supporters. A few hours after the President 'came out' for same-sex marriage to Good Morning America news anchor Robin Roberts, who struggled as Obama spoke to contain her uncontrollable "chills," the campaign's website was awash in lesbian, gay, bi-sexual and transgender wares.
The White House claimed that "President Obama's decision to reveal his personal position on gay marriage was not political - and it was not planned," which means that some ambitious silk-screener churned out those gay friendly t-shirts on incredibly short notice.
Therefore, in answer to Obama's poignant extend-the-payroll-tax-cut question "What does $40 mean to you?" for $40 dollars those who are "out" for Obama now can procure for themselves a party pack that includes an "Obama Pride" t-shirt, poster, car magnet, and bumper sticker. It's hard to imagine how an "LGBT for Obama Party Pack" can possibly compete with the wildly popular "Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders for Obama Party Pack."
In addition, the Obama/Biden campaign is so committed to inclusion they're even offering "onesies" for babies that say "My two moms support Obama" and "My two dads support Obama," which makes one wonder whether those two dads had anything to do with helping those two moms, a la Melissa Etheridge and David Crosby, produce Obama-supporting offspring.
Either way, one would think that when marketing race/ethnicity and sexual orientation products, it might be beneficial to consider the potential for innocuous innuendos when marketing merchandise like 'can' holders and a "Got His Back" poster to gay males, not to mention two Obama "Golf Balls" and a "Tailgate Set."
Thank God the kitchen collection only includes items like martini glasses, a Cup of Joe Biden coffee mug, and a spatula - all virtually useless in assisting lesbians in the fine art of becoming mothers. As for the aggressive "I'm Out for Obama" t-shirt, that item seems like it might be more suitable for supporters of Mitt Romney.
Nevertheless, the already-established "Fired Up and Ready to Go" line must certainly appeal to those unemployed Americans who, thanks to Obama, were 'fired' and are 'ready to go' to work, but still can't find a job. The "I Meow for Michelle" cat collar had to be inspired by sartorialist dog owner Michelle Obama's undying affection for kitten heels. And kudos to whoever came up with the idea of putting Barack Obama's mug on the "Change Is" mug - that was a design concept nothing short of pure genius.
No one would dare suggest that the Obama 2012 online store isn't committed to diversity. However, while it does offer items for nurses, environmentalists, African Americans, women, and Hispanics, the campaign apparently overlooks American Indians, Alaska natives, non-resident aliens, and white males. Come on, white males should at least get their own baseball cap.
Moreover, why hasn't the campaign drilled down to a level that would appeal to groups like homosexual Alaskan natives, who should also be able to show support for Obama in an "LGBT Alaskan Natives for Obama" t-shirt?
What makes up for those insensitive slights however is store.barackobama.com featuring the "Greater Together Obama Band Set" a trendy group of items that includes a black, blue, and white wristlet. For those searching high and low for an outfit that aptly memorializes the late Trayvon Martin, the black and blue bands do pair nicely with the "Obama U Hoodie."
Nevertheless, after purchasing an "Obama Accomplishment Card Pack" and a gender neutral "Obama Baby Bib," one can only hope that between now and November the campaign will continue to pay homage, not only to homosexuals and individual racial and ethnic groups, but to all of the President's faithful followers.
Hopefully, as Election Day draws near, Barack Obama supporters will be recognizable by t-shirts emblazoned with things like: "Another 'Fast and Furious' Fan of Obama," or "Illegal Voters Vote 2X for Obama." There is little doubt that even the most ardent Mitt Romney supporter would appreciate Obama 2012 campaign t-shirts that say "Vladimir Putin for a 'More Flexible' Obama," "Dead Voters Vote for Barack Obama," "Partial Birth Abortion Advocates ♥ Obama," and the always-popular "Billy Club-Toting Cracker-Hating Poll Watchers for Obama."
Author's content: www.jeannie-ology.com
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