The Rube Goldberg Diet
February 9th marked the two-year anniversary of Michelle Obama's exercise in anti-indulgence hypocrisy, Let's Move! It also began another taxpayer-funded, star-studded travel extravaganza covering four States in three days via private jet, beginning in Iowa, and ending at Florida's Walt Disney World resort.
For generations of responsible parents who somehow managed their children's diets and enabled their innate desire for play and competitive sport, the First Lady's anniversary celebration is a Rube Goldberg moment in government absurdity. It's a pity Mr. Goldberg isn't available to serve as the First Lady's lunchroom Czar. There's simply nothing like billions of dollars in government bureaucracy when a peanut butter sandwich and a brown bag will do.
It was just a few decades ago American schoolchildren were supposedly starving, spurring bureaucrats to action to save parents any trauma of personal responsibility. Apparently, the government's benevolent overreach was a nanny state success -- bankrupting states with free and reduced breakfasts, lunches, and snacks, in addition to the $11 billion dollar national school lunch program. Welcome to the real bloat of obesity -- government.
Always one to Rule in style, Mrs. Obama's three-day tour de sanctimony is filled with celebrities, cheerleaders, choirs, entertainers, Disney stars, Dallas Cowboy players, Olympic athletes, a NASCAR champ, political leaders, parents, faith leaders, physicians, educators, and grassroots activists. Oh, and the occasional photo op dining with the healthy, and obedient, government-worshipping family. The campaign's first stop in Iowa involved some 14,000 school children, the logistics of which are nearly unimaginable, unless you realize how cooperative school children can be when an afternoon of forsaking actual academics is in play.
But Mrs. Obama won't just be addressing school children in her current tour. The latest victim of obesity outreach is, apparently, our military; specifically, the myriad of teens who are turned away from serving because they are overweight. So, naturally, the latest menu changes will come to military bases -- vending machines, snack bars, and more than a thousand mess halls of those who currently train, strategize, or mobilize to risk life and limb for liberty.
Perhaps the perfect illustration of Mrs. Obama's absurd mission in parenting the nation is the nearly unpalatable promotional video, featuring Mrs. Obama and spandex-clad comedian and Obama sycophant, Jimmy Fallon, frolicking through the people's house. I can't say with any certainty the pair even filmed together as awkwardly as some segments are pieced together, which is a bit like a stirring testament on Detroit, filmed in New Orleans. I only recommend the video for those with very strong stomachs. Watching a First Lady and a comedian play dodge ball under a portrait of George Washington, is an image so disgraceful, I could do without it etched permanently to memory.
After another week of executive power grabs, the First Lady's efforts at government-mandated vegetable embrace should garner little more than a collective harrumph, or make for a nice distraction. But, these are yet more baby steps into tyranny, planted in young acorns, and embraced by the thousands of adults who will share Mrs. Obama's stage this week, from which big, fat, expensive, government-loving oaks grow.
In the words of Iowa schoolchildren yesterday, according to the Obama Foodorama blog, as they surrounded the First Lady, "we're going to drink milk!" "We're going to eat fruits and vegetables!" Because I told you to is so your parent's generation. Yes We Can!