The empty tents of the empty heads

Phil Boehmke
The cool autumn evenings are strangely silent on the grounds of St. Paul's Cathedral in London despite the presence of the Occupy London Stock Exchange protesters who have encamped there.  The angry mob which has succeeded in closing the cathedral for the first time since World War II, don't appear to be night owls.  The UK Daily Mail checked out the nighttime happenings on the cathedral grounds in order to assess the level of the protesters commitment.

There among the tents and signs proclaiming 'All day, all week, we'll sleep on London's freezing streets.  Solidarity!' lies the dirty little secret that explains the eerie nighttime silence of the masses.  An independent company contracted by the Daily Mail used thermal imaging to discover that there is very little mass among the overnight masses.  The evidence shows that only about 10% of the tents that encircle the cathedral grounds are actually occupied at night. 

When questioned about their 90% vacancy rate, the Occupy London Stock Exchange issued a statement claiming "This is simply not the case.  We try to keep vacancy to a minimum and operate a sing in/sign out system to help ensure this happens."  The occupation group added that "When someone knows they will not be staying overnight, they offer the tent to someone else."  It looks as though the 99% aren't having much luck convincing their fellow travelers to "sleep on London's freezing streets."  Hey kids, wait until winter!

Now that the empty tents of the occupation have been uncovered, Richard Chartres the Bishop of London has had a change of heart about the campers saying "The time has come for the protesters to leave."  If the protesters chose not to leave on their own initiative, the court system will have to decide whether their eviction is legal under the provisions of the Human Rights Act.  My guess is that long before the court figures out what to do with the poor oppressed victims of corporate greed, Mother Nature will carry out their eviction.

The cool autumn evenings are strangely silent on the grounds of St. Paul's Cathedral in London despite the presence of the Occupy London Stock Exchange protesters who have encamped there.  The angry mob which has succeeded in closing the cathedral for the first time since World War II, don't appear to be night owls.  The UK Daily Mail checked out the nighttime happenings on the cathedral grounds in order to assess the level of the protesters commitment.

There among the tents and signs proclaiming 'All day, all week, we'll sleep on London's freezing streets.  Solidarity!' lies the dirty little secret that explains the eerie nighttime silence of the masses.  An independent company contracted by the Daily Mail used thermal imaging to discover that there is very little mass among the overnight masses.  The evidence shows that only about 10% of the tents that encircle the cathedral grounds are actually occupied at night. 

When questioned about their 90% vacancy rate, the Occupy London Stock Exchange issued a statement claiming "This is simply not the case.  We try to keep vacancy to a minimum and operate a sing in/sign out system to help ensure this happens."  The occupation group added that "When someone knows they will not be staying overnight, they offer the tent to someone else."  It looks as though the 99% aren't having much luck convincing their fellow travelers to "sleep on London's freezing streets."  Hey kids, wait until winter!

Now that the empty tents of the occupation have been uncovered, Richard Chartres the Bishop of London has had a change of heart about the campers saying "The time has come for the protesters to leave."  If the protesters chose not to leave on their own initiative, the court system will have to decide whether their eviction is legal under the provisions of the Human Rights Act.  My guess is that long before the court figures out what to do with the poor oppressed victims of corporate greed, Mother Nature will carry out their eviction.