Warmists have new excuse

James Lewis
Oh, ye of little faith! Do you doubt Global Warming? Just because world temps haven't followed the computer models for, ummm, a decade or so?

Rejoice! There is an answer. It comes to us courtesy of Reuters, the official home of Eurosocialist superstitions.

Like the eurozone, which is also breaking down. Global warming and other euro fantasies going down at the same time? Could this be a coincidence?

"Reuters, New York - The mystery of Earth's missing heat may have been solved: it could lurk deep in oceans, temporarily masking the climate-warming effects of greenhouse gas emissions, researchers reported on Sunday.

Climate scientists have long wondered where this so-called missing heat was going ... The world temperature should have risen more than it did, scientists at the National Centre for Atmospheric Research reckoned. ... They knew greenhouse gas emissions were rising ... and yet temperatures were not going up as much as projected.

So where did the missing heat go?

Computer simulations suggest most of it was trapped in layers of oceans deeper than 305m during periods like the last decade when air temperatures failed to warm as much as they might have."

Wow! Those computer simulations saved our cookies again!

Send in that big grant application quick! Get it while the PR is hot.

Back in Tehran, Ahmadinejad believes in the Hidden Imam, who disappeared around 900 CE --- killed as a child by his dynastic enemies. According to Wikipedia:

Twelver Shī'a believe that al-Mahdī was born in 869 and did not die but rather was hidden by God (this is referred to as the Occultation) and will later emerge with Isa (Jesus Christ) in order to fulfill their mission of bringing peace and justice to the world. He assumed the Imamate at 5 years of age. Some Shi'īte schools do not consider ibn-al-Hasan to be the Mahdī  ... .

The Hidden Imam was Occulted, and so was global warming. They were both lost deep underground in a great body of water. I think this must be Global Resonance. Or something. Close your eyes and feel the vibes ... something is going around the world... deep beneath the oceans...

The imam disappeared in a sacred well. Global warming was occulted deep in the ocean below 305 meters.

(Get that precision: It's not just 300 meters, but 300 meters plus 5. This has got to be real science. Down to the third decimal place.)

The Twelfth Imam is due to come back any day now, aided by the dream of nuclear martyrdom for A'jad's chosen enemies, Big Satan and Little Satan -- plus lots of his own faithful followers. Ahmadinejad built a special highway to the Imam's well, to facilitate pious pilgrims coming to celebrate the return of the Mahdi ... maybe next year, in 2012.

(He does not come in odd numbered years.)

So... Do not despair! The end of the world is still at hand!

Repent! Before it is too late!

We need more science to study the end of the world.

Vote Democrat!

Oh, ye of little faith! Do you doubt Global Warming? Just because world temps haven't followed the computer models for, ummm, a decade or so?

Rejoice! There is an answer. It comes to us courtesy of Reuters, the official home of Eurosocialist superstitions.

Like the eurozone, which is also breaking down. Global warming and other euro fantasies going down at the same time? Could this be a coincidence?

"Reuters, New York - The mystery of Earth's missing heat may have been solved: it could lurk deep in oceans, temporarily masking the climate-warming effects of greenhouse gas emissions, researchers reported on Sunday.

Climate scientists have long wondered where this so-called missing heat was going ... The world temperature should have risen more than it did, scientists at the National Centre for Atmospheric Research reckoned. ... They knew greenhouse gas emissions were rising ... and yet temperatures were not going up as much as projected.

So where did the missing heat go?

Computer simulations suggest most of it was trapped in layers of oceans deeper than 305m during periods like the last decade when air temperatures failed to warm as much as they might have."

Wow! Those computer simulations saved our cookies again!

Send in that big grant application quick! Get it while the PR is hot.

Back in Tehran, Ahmadinejad believes in the Hidden Imam, who disappeared around 900 CE --- killed as a child by his dynastic enemies. According to Wikipedia:

Twelver Shī'a believe that al-Mahdī was born in 869 and did not die but rather was hidden by God (this is referred to as the Occultation) and will later emerge with Isa (Jesus Christ) in order to fulfill their mission of bringing peace and justice to the world. He assumed the Imamate at 5 years of age. Some Shi'īte schools do not consider ibn-al-Hasan to be the Mahdī  ... .

The Hidden Imam was Occulted, and so was global warming. They were both lost deep underground in a great body of water. I think this must be Global Resonance. Or something. Close your eyes and feel the vibes ... something is going around the world... deep beneath the oceans...

The imam disappeared in a sacred well. Global warming was occulted deep in the ocean below 305 meters.

(Get that precision: It's not just 300 meters, but 300 meters plus 5. This has got to be real science. Down to the third decimal place.)

The Twelfth Imam is due to come back any day now, aided by the dream of nuclear martyrdom for A'jad's chosen enemies, Big Satan and Little Satan -- plus lots of his own faithful followers. Ahmadinejad built a special highway to the Imam's well, to facilitate pious pilgrims coming to celebrate the return of the Mahdi ... maybe next year, in 2012.

(He does not come in odd numbered years.)

So... Do not despair! The end of the world is still at hand!

Repent! Before it is too late!

We need more science to study the end of the world.

Vote Democrat!