The lemonade stand threat

Fay Voshell
Ah, the policemen of Coralville, Iowa, population 18,750, certainly have their hands full tackling crime.  The latest criminal? Abigail Krutsinger,  who is 4 years old.

Abigail's iniquitous entrepreneurial skills were awakened when she realized cyclists riding across Iowa during the area's annual RAGBRAI bike ride were really, really thirsty by the time they arrived at the welcoming oasis of Coralville, Iowa, so she opened a lemonade stand, hoping to do a good deed as well as earn a little money for her piggy bank.

But sharp-eyed and ever vigilant police shut her down because the tot had not applied for a permit and health inspection.

It appears Abigail is part of the lemonade mafia that has metastasized across America. Similar crackdowns have occurred all around the country! The raid on Abigail's free market enterprise, as well as on other suspect business startups, is paralleled by federal crackdowns on bake sales.  Police are intimidating adolescents and dangerous church ladies offering possibly cyanide-laced shoo-fly pies and pumpkin spice cupcakes.

Josh Schamberger, president of the Iowa City/Coralville Convention and Visitors Bureau, stated the ordinance was passed to protect riders from health risks.  Not to be outdone, Kelly Hayworth, Coralville City Administrator, announced the town was merely trying to regulate all vendors in order to conform to the county health department regulations.

Right.

Ah, the policemen of Coralville, Iowa, population 18,750, certainly have their hands full tackling crime.  The latest criminal? Abigail Krutsinger,  who is 4 years old.

Abigail's iniquitous entrepreneurial skills were awakened when she realized cyclists riding across Iowa during the area's annual RAGBRAI bike ride were really, really thirsty by the time they arrived at the welcoming oasis of Coralville, Iowa, so she opened a lemonade stand, hoping to do a good deed as well as earn a little money for her piggy bank.

But sharp-eyed and ever vigilant police shut her down because the tot had not applied for a permit and health inspection.

It appears Abigail is part of the lemonade mafia that has metastasized across America. Similar crackdowns have occurred all around the country! The raid on Abigail's free market enterprise, as well as on other suspect business startups, is paralleled by federal crackdowns on bake sales.  Police are intimidating adolescents and dangerous church ladies offering possibly cyanide-laced shoo-fly pies and pumpkin spice cupcakes.

Josh Schamberger, president of the Iowa City/Coralville Convention and Visitors Bureau, stated the ordinance was passed to protect riders from health risks.  Not to be outdone, Kelly Hayworth, Coralville City Administrator, announced the town was merely trying to regulate all vendors in order to conform to the county health department regulations.

Right.