Why an alligator stocked moat is bureaucratically impossible

Alert law abiding citizen and American Thinker reader bobdog helpfully analyzed why comedian Stephen Colbert's eminently practical and cost efficient suggestion, as expounded without credit by President Barack Obama (D), of a moat on our southern border stocked with specially trained alligators capable of identifying and devouring illegal aliens trying to sneak into this country, would be impossible to realize at present.

Well, first of all, alligators are on the endangered species list. Can't have that. Second, I doubt if this plan could get an environmental impact study approved. Who knows what cute little desert critters will be crushed into extinction without further study? Third, this project would require heavy equipment, dumping tons of CO2 into the environment, which by EPA decree is a major pollutant, and diesel fumes have been judged to be a carcinogen by the Center for Disease Control. Fourth, it will be difficult to find enough union employees to actually show up to work in the hot sun, even at premium rates. They don't do hot. Fifth, using illegal immigrants to do the work that union members won't do is...well, illegal under federal law, and is tantamount to...wait for it...slavery. And you can't use federal troops to protect these workers from Mexican drug thugs while they're along the border. Posse comitas and all that. Nor will state or local authorities agree to provide security. They're just as broke as we are. And will the Bureau of Land Management and State Department approve of this wasteful diversion of valuable irrigation water flowing into Mexico?Besides, just about anybody working along the border is likely to get trampled to death anyway.

No, you just keep thinkin' there, Mr. Obama. That's what you're good at.

Certainly President Obama, the Harvard trained University of Chicago law instructor, community organizer of still crime infested communities, best selling author of books written by...., state and federal legislator bravely voting present and now president who has elevated the national debt to unprecedented highs can overcome these minor legal impediments.


Alert law abiding citizen and American Thinker reader bobdog helpfully analyzed why comedian Stephen Colbert's eminently practical and cost efficient suggestion, as expounded without credit by President Barack Obama (D), of a moat on our southern border stocked with specially trained alligators capable of identifying and devouring illegal aliens trying to sneak into this country, would be impossible to realize at present.

Well, first of all, alligators are on the endangered species list. Can't have that. Second, I doubt if this plan could get an environmental impact study approved. Who knows what cute little desert critters will be crushed into extinction without further study? Third, this project would require heavy equipment, dumping tons of CO2 into the environment, which by EPA decree is a major pollutant, and diesel fumes have been judged to be a carcinogen by the Center for Disease Control. Fourth, it will be difficult to find enough union employees to actually show up to work in the hot sun, even at premium rates. They don't do hot. Fifth, using illegal immigrants to do the work that union members won't do is...well, illegal under federal law, and is tantamount to...wait for it...slavery. And you can't use federal troops to protect these workers from Mexican drug thugs while they're along the border. Posse comitas and all that. Nor will state or local authorities agree to provide security. They're just as broke as we are. And will the Bureau of Land Management and State Department approve of this wasteful diversion of valuable irrigation water flowing into Mexico?

Besides, just about anybody working along the border is likely to get trampled to death anyway.

No, you just keep thinkin' there, Mr. Obama. That's what you're good at.


Certainly President Obama, the Harvard trained University of Chicago law instructor, community organizer of still crime infested communities, best selling author of books written by...., state and federal legislator bravely voting present and now president who has elevated the national debt to unprecedented highs can overcome these minor legal impediments.


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